Apparently Cool

As I sit on the couch at home with Ashley, we both listen to the girls in the bath tub as they converse. We start listening at about the time that Audrey starts telling off Addison about how she is an extremely messy bather and that she is sick and tired of cleaning up her messes.

"If you are going to continue making these messes, then I'm just going to start taking showers and you're gonna have to clean up all by yourself!" says Audrey.
I have to say that the best par to of this conversation isn't Audrey saying that to Addison but Addison replying with "Yes ma'am." as if Audrey was the other mother that she had.

I remember that when I was growing up and when I would say stuff like that to my brother we would usually get into a fight of some sorts. He was never needy with me because he knew I wouldn't take care of him like Audrey takes care of Addison.

One thing is very obvious though: Audrey tries really hard to be just like her mom. I doubt that she would ever admit that she does it intentionally but she does. I think a lot of it might come naturally. They're both the cute nerd type. Audrey is one of the few girls I know who finds rats to be cute. She tried last week to convince me that we needed either a boa snake or a ferret. I told her that we could get either of those just as soon as we got a bengal tiger first. (that means never)

Audrey can give different science facts off the top of her head, she never really read fairy tales when going to bed, she would read Ripley's Believe It Or Not books. The first book she ever asked me to read to her one night was a book about how Egyptian mummification worked (can't make this stuff up).

I can only think of one person who probably did the same thing as a child and that is Ashley. Personally I grew up hating science. Ashley says I only felt that way because I had bad science teachers. Maybe thats the truth or maybe I just stick with the ol "God made it" mindset just so I won't be corrected by my 11-year old future daughter.

Audrey takes up so much after her mother. The two of them have been through more together than I can imagine. Ashley still says it was having baby Audrey there that really got her through losing her parents the way she did.

There is something that I have discovered about how Audrey, and even Addison to a degree, looks at me. Audrey is 11 and is a developing adolescent. This is usually the time where kids think that their parents are incredibly stupid. If parents can't read the mind of their kids, then the kids automatically assume their parents to be idiots. Somehow, I have scored some sort of exception rule as a future stepfather. I'M COOL!

I honestly don't really know why Audrey thinks I'm cool. I'm really not that cool. I used to even introduce myself to other people as "I'm Casey..... but don't worry I'm not really cool."I say weird things and make people think I'm awkward at times for my own personal amusement. Somehow, someway, Audrey genuinely admires me. Maybe it's because I love her mom so much and show it. Maybe it's because the teenagers hang out with me at church. Maybe it's because she thinks I'm funny. Maybe it's something else I'm unaware. Maybe it's a little bit of all of these. Whatever it is, it's working!

When we are in public she will oftentimes sit in my lap or tell a story of something that we did together.
I can only hope that this will last through when she goes to college. I'm probably jinxing myself simply by writing this. I have to say that I do feel really lucky though. God has blessed me with an amazing job, beautiful family all in a great city. Having my future oldest daughter think I'm cool is like icing on the cake.I doubt she will ever admit that she thinks this, but her actions prove it to be ever so true. And even though she is a total nerd, she is so beautiful inside out and she has taught me how to love someone in a way that I never knew. And for that, I am very grateful.

I am sure that one day, being cool will come to a sad ending (if it hasn't already). Until then, I am choosing to simply ride this wave and keep doing what I'm doing. Apparently it's working!

My Future Family

a big thanks to my amazing sister for taking our engagement pictures!

Missing Them

I still remember when I started dating Ashley, one of the first things that I did was talk to guys who I not only loved and respected, but had also gone through a situation similar to the one that I was about to encounter: Dating a mom.

I mainly went to three guys about this. Josh Bailey, who is a former colleague of mine at WCS, Preston Hill, who is my future father-in-law/former work colleague/missionary friend, and Tim Lankford, who is my cousin.

All three of them gave the same piece of advice almost immediately after I approached them about this. 

That advice was "It's usually easy to fall in love with the woman's kids. Make sure that you are also falling in love with their mother and put her first. This will say a lot to the girls about what your intentions are and while it's ok to fall in love with them, make sure you fall in love with her first. The kids eventually leave, but you stay with their mom for the rest of your life."

I am very thankful that I chose all three of these guys about that because they were all absolutely right. Let me first say that I do sincerely love both Audrey and Addison. They are almost polar opposites from each other because 1. There is never a dull moment when they are together. and 2. It has shown me that I can love 2 daughters in two completely different ways, this is something that I didn't really think/know was possible.

With that being said, their mom wins. I said it when I first started dating her and I'm sticking to this: Ashley is the most incredible woman that I have ever met. Her life story is one that is loaded with tear joking moments and old country women saying "bless your heart"but if you were to meet her, you would have no idea that that was the case. She somehow finds joy in every moment without sugarcoating anything. She says things like they are, both positive and negative. She is my biggest fan and I am hers. We don't do well at all being away from each other for more than 24 hours and we find entertainment in everything we do from watching a movie to grocery shopping to talking while we fold clothes. I am about to be stuck with her for the rest of my life... and I want it that way because I love her more than anyone else.

However, I am now going through something that I have never gone through before and that is missing my little girls. Audrey and Addison left Huntsville this past Sunday with their grandparents to go to their place in southwest Houston. This past Wednesday, Ashley's best friend. Whitney, picked them up and they are staying with her for about a week and a half. 

I must say that spending some one on one time with Ashley has been great and much needed since it's something that we don't get to do all that often, but we both agreed last night that we really miss them. We know they're having a blast at their Nana's (Whitney) but we are excited to have them home even though that won't be for another week. We miss their creativity and their laughs. We miss tucking them in at night, we miss high-lows with them and watching movies with them. 

I guess it's cool that they are away from us now because they're sorta stuck with us once the school year starts. I'm excited for that to happen, but I'm more excited about just seeing them again.

Homelessness

Overall, this blog has been mostly about my new family and I'm giving it a break.

I wanted to announce that I'm currently homeless. This isn't a distress call and it most certainly isn't bragging. Ashley and I are in the process of purchasing a home in the Huntsville area and it has been an exhausting process. We reached an agreement with our seller in early June and we are still trying to close on the house. Hopefully that will happen sometime this week but there is no guarantee of that at the rate we have been going. We were supposed to close today but that fell through so we're back to working on getting things approved again.

I say all of that to say that we are currently a homeless family. I announce this because it has given me a unique opportunity to look at just how blessed my new family and me are. We have not spent a single night in a hotel since Ashley sold her house in Missouri City earlier this month. Despite Ashley not really having access to her own kitchen, we have eaten multiple home cooked meals. We continuously have offers from people who barely know us wanting us to know that they will offer a place to stay, meal to eat, or even just a time to relax by babysitting the girls. We have also managed to go on a vacation and a vacation within a vacation, have a wedding shower, an engagement party, and I have been to two different church camps with my teens.

I have also been intrigued and inspired by the way the first christians lived their lives. None of them considered anything to be actually theirs. If someone was homeless, someone else opened up their home. If someone was hungry, someone else shared some of their meal. If someone was naked, someone else offered some of theirs clothes. I have grown up in a mostly materialistic world. I hear the word "mine" more than most, but over the last couple of months, I haven't really heard anyone say that. All my family and me have witnessed is openness, open doors, open homes, open arms.

Over the last couple of months, I have had no choice but to rely on my church family. Most people will refer to their home church as their church family. I honestly can't bring myself to do that because if I call the Huntsville church my church family then I feel like I'm not calling the Impact church my church family. I could say the same for Berry's Chapel, the church I grew up at. I have relied and fallen back on people from about 4 different churches during this time.

Even though Ashley and I have been frustrated beyond belief, I have to say that I go to sleep tonight in a cabin bunk feeling blessed. There is a roof over mine and my family's heads tonight. We know that we will be eating breakfast in the morning. Audrey will be going to tennis camp. Addison will play with 1000000000 toys and watch Good Luck Charlie. Ashley will continue on her quest writing thank you notes and I will spend some solid time with the teens and kids at camp.

Hopefully we'll be moving into a new home by this coming Saturday. Hopefully we'll move into a home of our own at some point. Until then, I have every intention of not just going to church, but being the church and for the time being, the church is watching over me and my family and I am forever grateful.

Secondhand Celebrity

I guess that I probably should've known this since I kind of had it myself growing up, but when you have young kids, you're not relevant anymore, but your kids are.

Working out in Texas has been an experience for a kid from Nashville. When I would come home in the past, people would hug me, tell me it was good to see me, sometimes ask some questions about work, and that would be it. Now people are waiting for me to get to their house! However it's not because of me, it's because I'm about to have daughters and they are with me.

Having a 10 year old and a 6 year old has made me a secondhand celebrity. I feel like one of those guys who hang out with and completely live/mooch off of an NBA superstar. Those guys don't work and photobomb a ton of the pic the stars are in and most of them are good for absolutely nothing. It's sort of the opposite for me though because I'm in the background of their pics but I'm the one doing the work.

I gotta say though, it's something that I'm loving doing. 20 years ago I was the center of attention every time I entered the room simply because I was 5 years old. I would sing made up songs that made fun of other real songs, I would play some sport and be terrible at it, I would make up some sort of dance. It didn't really matter what I did, it was still awesome because a cute little kid. I feel like just about everyone can relate to that at least to a certain extent. I feel like a lot of parents look at their kids as the center of attention with a sense of pride because they something to do with creating them. I feel like I have an even better feel about the way I can look at them because even though I wasn't a part of creating them, they have accepted me as the new father figure in their lives. Most kids are stuck with their parents whether they like it or not, my kids chose me. This connection is something I never really knew that I could experience. It even feels godly and lets me realize the kind of adoptive love that my God has for me.

My mom and dad are absolutely loving this whole process. They are crazy about Ashley and the girls. They officially have grandparent names of Gigi (mom) and Big Daddy (dad). We just got back from going to Gatlinburg/Pigeon Forge and Dollywood. My dad told Ashley that this was quite possibly the funnest vacation that he's ever been on. I know he loves this new part of his family because we've been to those places multiple times growing up and although I know that he enjoyed those trips too, I can tell that this one was definitely his best trip up there.

I think that the girls get so much attention right now that they don't even pay attention to it anymore. Some of the things Audrey says about it is pretty entertaining.

"Casey, we are important people and have stuff to do."

"When we walk in a room, everybody knows we're there!"

"Everybody knows us."

I should probably mention that Audrey is totally kidding when she says these things (kinda..... then again those things are true.....)

My Uncle Jerry recently and jokingly told me not to come back to Tennessee anymore unless I brought my girls with me. All three of the girls really are the star of the show and I am absolutely great with that because I get to sit outside the spotlight and just beam with pride. I still am not sure how I conned Ashley into agreeing to marrying me but I'm not about to tell her that!

I notice that I'm like my dad in this way. My dad was never overly involved whenever I was doing anything. He just always seemed to sit back and smile at whatever it was I was doing. Here we both are 20 years later and he's still sitting back and smiling except he's not watching me. He is watching my girls and simply smiling, and lately, I have been right next to him doing the exact same thing.

My mom is very hands on with the girls. She's teaching Audrey to sew and Addison has been helping cook meals. This morning Addy helped make pancakes and Audrey sewed me a bumble bee pouch. I feel like she has looked forward to be a grandparent for some time now. I just don't think she thought it was gonna happen quite this fast. I know she's not objecting to this though. She has taken them shopping and swimming, helped them have fashion shows, and taught them how to do several different things like cooking and sewing.

I am no longer a baby to my mother because I now have babies of my own. I am now in the background of the pictures,  I'm requested to always bring my girls anywhere. I am a secondhand celebrity, and I am loving every second of it.

Gigi's assistant chef for the week making the biscuits

New the sewer in the family

My brother and sister with the girls at Dollywood

Big Daddy and Gigi with their new family additions in Gatlinburg

My celebrities

Our Story

This post is the overall rundown of how my future family and me came to be. Enjoy!

Almost 2 years ago, I was looking for my first big boy job out of college. I was a communications and ministry double major out of Oklahoma Christian University. I had been desperately seeking out a job to immerse myself in for about 6 months. I believed (and still do believe) that God had called me to a life of ministering to others, particularly teens. So I began looking for youth pastor positions. I had done internships, mission work, classes, practicums, the works. 

Let's rewind about 8 years to the summer after I started high school. I went on my first foreign mission trip. This was a 10-day stint in Honduras led by my youth minister at the time, Chad Hedgepath. Chad had actually gotten connected with several other people from previous mission trips who were from Houston, Texas (I'm originally from Nashville, TN). These people also went to Honduras at the same time we did. Some of the people who really stuck out in my mind were men by the names of Greg Glenn, Steve Hawley, Thom Besso, and Preston Hill. These men all really impressed me as hard workers who still managed to have fun doing whatever they did. 

Back to 2 years ago, I got a call from the head of Westbury Christian School about an open position. The head was Greg Glenn whom I had done mission work with in Honduras. Steve Hawley, who taught Bible and coached girls basketball, had mentioned my name to Greg and the ball began rolling. Greg asked me to come to WCS as a Campus Minister, Bible Teacher, and Basketball Coach. This was exactly what I had always wanted!

So I finally had a job. I moved my things out to the massive city of Houston. My second day of in-service was also the first day of in-service for all returning teachers. Shortly after breakfast on this second day, the middle school principal made an introduction of one of his teachers to me that changed my life forever. Her name was Ashley Bonine. Ashley was wearing khaki pants and a black top and she was stunningly beautiful. After speaking to her for just a few seconds, I learned that she was the daughter-in-law of Preston Hill (sound familiar?). I asked her which of his kids she had married because I had met his youngest daughter, Meggan, while in Honduras. She told me she had married the oldest, Michael, and they had two daughters, Audrey and Addison. It was after this that she had explained to me what had happened in her life.

I'll give a quick rundown of what Ashley had been through before I had met her. When she was 20, her parents both died in a murder/suicide one night. She had already given birth to Audrey and she still says that she is what got her through that whole process. It was also during this time that Michael stood by Ashley's side and tried to help her through this. Ashley suffered from PTSD for some time after this. She told me that he said that he knew he wanted to marry her when he realized that she was going to make it out on the other side. About 3 years after they were married, they gave birth to Addison. Addison looked EXACTLY like her father (I'll try and post pictures to prove it. Just trust me for now). As she has gotten older, she has developed some of the features of her mother. 

When Addison was 2 and Audrey was 7, a horrible tragedy happened. Ashley woke up in the middle of the night to the sound of Michael being unable to breathe. After being rushed to the hospital, doctors eventually learned that Michael was suffering from a brain aneurism. Michael Bonine passed away just four days later. He was only 35 years old. Ashley had many nights after that where she did not sleep. She still claims that this is the hardest thing that she has ever endured.

After she had told me about losing Michael, I was at a loss for words as many people tend to be when they hear of something like that. I simply told her that I was sorry for her loss. It was at this point that something hit me that never had before. I felt like I had a place in her life. I can't explain it much more than that. Before you think "Oh it was love at first sight!" or "What an instant connection!"let me immediately say that it was none of that. To tell you the truth, I was still in the process of getting over a girl whom I dated throughout most of college and so I wasn't really interested in dating anyone at the time. It was also pretty obvious that Ashley was still getting over losing Michael. After all, it had only been 16 months. Even still, I could not shake this feeling that I was supposed to play some sort of role in her and her girls' lives. I just didn't really know exactly what role that was.

So school began for us both. As I got more adjusted to school, I got a better feel for who was who and the times I would see different co-workers. Usually the only times that I would see Ashley was either passing by in the hall or in middle school chapel. We were mostly just acquaintances for most of the that first semester simply because we did not cross paths very often. As the school year went on though, I began to really notice her. She was someone who could befriend anyone she met almost instantly. She was someone who would steal the spotlight without even knowing it and then immediately hop out of it because she doesn't like receiving public praise. I finally told one of the teachers who was pretty close to her, Mrs. Strom, that I would love the opportunity to date her. Donna told me not to try because she really only dated older guys. 

One day during the spring semester she asked me what I was doing on a Saturday afternoon, I seriously got super jacked up because for some stupid reason I actually thought that she was going to ask me out (I know, I'm an idiot). She wanted me to help her move into her new house. Of course I helped out, partially because I didn't mind a bit and had nothing going on that day but mostly because of the crush I had on her.

School ended and I left for the summer. When I came back, I sat next to her during breakfast on the first day of in-service. We pretty much just hit it off from there. We talked on the phone for about 3 hours one night, I went to her place a couple of times with other people and we even went on "fake dates" which was where we both wanted them to be real dates but I didn't really officially ask her out so they weren't for real. After one of our fake dates, we talked for a little bit longer at her house and I almost asked her out, but chickened out. When I was driving home that night, she sent me a text about how she wished I could've stayed to talk longer. If that wasn't a major sign for "ASK ME OUT ALREADY!!" then I didn't know what was. I actually turned my truck around and met her at her front door and finally asked her out, to which I got the response of "Maybe...... because I'm not sure about my situation..." to which I replied "I'm not asking you to marry me, I'm just asking you to let me take you out." She was ok with that. We actually stayed at her placed talking the rest of that night. Neither of us slept. (Preston if you're reading this then you now understand why I was a zombie during DMT that one day of in-service).

About a week after I had first gone out with Ashley, I got to meet the girls (even though we kinda knew each other already from school, but still, some things had kinda changed). I met Addison first because Audrey was out of town with some friends. Addy was barely 5 years old when we first met. She was skeptical about me mainly because she didn't really get what was going on. She just noticed that mommy was holding the new guy's hand and she wasn't too crazy about that. We went to Swirl                                                                      that first night which was her favorite place to go to. She called it "Squirrel." Addy spent most of that night telling me about her daily routine going to and from school and what she plays with after school all the while repeating most everything twice for me. At the age of 5, no one can pronounce the letter R correctly. I'll never forget the first look she ever gave me when she caught me kissing her mom. It was a "how dare you!" look. Ashley and I couldn't help but laugh. Addison has always been a mama's girl according to Ashley.

I met Audrey a few days after meeting Addy. Audrey was very open to me dating her mom. I think she has always been a fan of me. She's made it very clear that I am not the replacement for her daddy and I have made it very clear to her that I am not trying to be. We have both also made it very clear that we love each other. 

I have different special things with each of the girls. Mine with Addison is tickling and "CPR" and Audrey's is our late night talks when tucking her in bed and the movies we watch together. That girl can watch absolutely anything that goes on the black box..... except for sports (I know, you can't win 'em all)

Later this month, we will (Lord willing) close on our new house. I've had to learn everything about buying and selling a house on the fly. I have to say that it's really not fun. I wish the process were easier. I'm enjoying being a fiance and future father way more.

My New Family

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Michael and Addison Bonine

Welcome!

My Future Wife and Me

I guess I should start this off by telling about why I am doing this in the first place. 

I find writing to be good for my soul and enjoyable most of the time. I am in the process of becoming  what you would call an "adult" pretty much all at once. I get asked a lot how all of this is going to work out in my life and I just say that I am blessed by God to have the people in my life that I do and to have His work that he has given me. I figured if anyone around my age (25) is starting a family, this might be of some help, or at the very least, a wonderful opportunity to point and laugh at someone which you are more than welcome to do to me. Here's a quick overview.

This past August, I began dating a woman by the name of Ashley Bonine. Ashley is the mother of two amazing girls named Audrey (10) and Addison(6). Ashley has endured some incredible hardships in her life including losing both parents on the same night when she was 20 and losing her late husband only 3 years ago. Ashley and I got engaged in late May and are planning a private wedding in late November. I have also just begun my role as the new youth minister at Huntsville Church of Christ in Huntsville, Texas. Ashley made the decision to come with me even before we got engaged and will be the new science teacher in Huntsville in August. We are currently in the process of buying a new house in Huntsville. This is something I am completely unfamiliar with. So all of this sums up to me going from the single life just recently out of college to married with a house and 2 kids all in about 6 months time. This blog is titled Crash Course Adult simply because I am learning about most of this on the go. Most guys do all of this over the course of about 10 years while I am doing it in 6 months so I am the abridged version of growing up and being an "adult". I hope you enjoy reading. Feel free to comment with different pieces of advice on anything. I sure as heck need it.