Homelessness

Overall, this blog has been mostly about my new family and I'm giving it a break.

I wanted to announce that I'm currently homeless. This isn't a distress call and it most certainly isn't bragging. Ashley and I are in the process of purchasing a home in the Huntsville area and it has been an exhausting process. We reached an agreement with our seller in early June and we are still trying to close on the house. Hopefully that will happen sometime this week but there is no guarantee of that at the rate we have been going. We were supposed to close today but that fell through so we're back to working on getting things approved again.

I say all of that to say that we are currently a homeless family. I announce this because it has given me a unique opportunity to look at just how blessed my new family and me are. We have not spent a single night in a hotel since Ashley sold her house in Missouri City earlier this month. Despite Ashley not really having access to her own kitchen, we have eaten multiple home cooked meals. We continuously have offers from people who barely know us wanting us to know that they will offer a place to stay, meal to eat, or even just a time to relax by babysitting the girls. We have also managed to go on a vacation and a vacation within a vacation, have a wedding shower, an engagement party, and I have been to two different church camps with my teens.

I have also been intrigued and inspired by the way the first christians lived their lives. None of them considered anything to be actually theirs. If someone was homeless, someone else opened up their home. If someone was hungry, someone else shared some of their meal. If someone was naked, someone else offered some of theirs clothes. I have grown up in a mostly materialistic world. I hear the word "mine" more than most, but over the last couple of months, I haven't really heard anyone say that. All my family and me have witnessed is openness, open doors, open homes, open arms.

Over the last couple of months, I have had no choice but to rely on my church family. Most people will refer to their home church as their church family. I honestly can't bring myself to do that because if I call the Huntsville church my church family then I feel like I'm not calling the Impact church my church family. I could say the same for Berry's Chapel, the church I grew up at. I have relied and fallen back on people from about 4 different churches during this time.

Even though Ashley and I have been frustrated beyond belief, I have to say that I go to sleep tonight in a cabin bunk feeling blessed. There is a roof over mine and my family's heads tonight. We know that we will be eating breakfast in the morning. Audrey will be going to tennis camp. Addison will play with 1000000000 toys and watch Good Luck Charlie. Ashley will continue on her quest writing thank you notes and I will spend some solid time with the teens and kids at camp.

Hopefully we'll be moving into a new home by this coming Saturday. Hopefully we'll move into a home of our own at some point. Until then, I have every intention of not just going to church, but being the church and for the time being, the church is watching over me and my family and I am forever grateful.

Secondhand Celebrity

I guess that I probably should've known this since I kind of had it myself growing up, but when you have young kids, you're not relevant anymore, but your kids are.

Working out in Texas has been an experience for a kid from Nashville. When I would come home in the past, people would hug me, tell me it was good to see me, sometimes ask some questions about work, and that would be it. Now people are waiting for me to get to their house! However it's not because of me, it's because I'm about to have daughters and they are with me.

Having a 10 year old and a 6 year old has made me a secondhand celebrity. I feel like one of those guys who hang out with and completely live/mooch off of an NBA superstar. Those guys don't work and photobomb a ton of the pic the stars are in and most of them are good for absolutely nothing. It's sort of the opposite for me though because I'm in the background of their pics but I'm the one doing the work.

I gotta say though, it's something that I'm loving doing. 20 years ago I was the center of attention every time I entered the room simply because I was 5 years old. I would sing made up songs that made fun of other real songs, I would play some sport and be terrible at it, I would make up some sort of dance. It didn't really matter what I did, it was still awesome because a cute little kid. I feel like just about everyone can relate to that at least to a certain extent. I feel like a lot of parents look at their kids as the center of attention with a sense of pride because they something to do with creating them. I feel like I have an even better feel about the way I can look at them because even though I wasn't a part of creating them, they have accepted me as the new father figure in their lives. Most kids are stuck with their parents whether they like it or not, my kids chose me. This connection is something I never really knew that I could experience. It even feels godly and lets me realize the kind of adoptive love that my God has for me.

My mom and dad are absolutely loving this whole process. They are crazy about Ashley and the girls. They officially have grandparent names of Gigi (mom) and Big Daddy (dad). We just got back from going to Gatlinburg/Pigeon Forge and Dollywood. My dad told Ashley that this was quite possibly the funnest vacation that he's ever been on. I know he loves this new part of his family because we've been to those places multiple times growing up and although I know that he enjoyed those trips too, I can tell that this one was definitely his best trip up there.

I think that the girls get so much attention right now that they don't even pay attention to it anymore. Some of the things Audrey says about it is pretty entertaining.

"Casey, we are important people and have stuff to do."

"When we walk in a room, everybody knows we're there!"

"Everybody knows us."

I should probably mention that Audrey is totally kidding when she says these things (kinda..... then again those things are true.....)

My Uncle Jerry recently and jokingly told me not to come back to Tennessee anymore unless I brought my girls with me. All three of the girls really are the star of the show and I am absolutely great with that because I get to sit outside the spotlight and just beam with pride. I still am not sure how I conned Ashley into agreeing to marrying me but I'm not about to tell her that!

I notice that I'm like my dad in this way. My dad was never overly involved whenever I was doing anything. He just always seemed to sit back and smile at whatever it was I was doing. Here we both are 20 years later and he's still sitting back and smiling except he's not watching me. He is watching my girls and simply smiling, and lately, I have been right next to him doing the exact same thing.

My mom is very hands on with the girls. She's teaching Audrey to sew and Addison has been helping cook meals. This morning Addy helped make pancakes and Audrey sewed me a bumble bee pouch. I feel like she has looked forward to be a grandparent for some time now. I just don't think she thought it was gonna happen quite this fast. I know she's not objecting to this though. She has taken them shopping and swimming, helped them have fashion shows, and taught them how to do several different things like cooking and sewing.

I am no longer a baby to my mother because I now have babies of my own. I am now in the background of the pictures,  I'm requested to always bring my girls anywhere. I am a secondhand celebrity, and I am loving every second of it.

Gigi's assistant chef for the week making the biscuits

New the sewer in the family

My brother and sister with the girls at Dollywood

Big Daddy and Gigi with their new family additions in Gatlinburg

My celebrities

Our Story

This post is the overall rundown of how my future family and me came to be. Enjoy!

Almost 2 years ago, I was looking for my first big boy job out of college. I was a communications and ministry double major out of Oklahoma Christian University. I had been desperately seeking out a job to immerse myself in for about 6 months. I believed (and still do believe) that God had called me to a life of ministering to others, particularly teens. So I began looking for youth pastor positions. I had done internships, mission work, classes, practicums, the works. 

Let's rewind about 8 years to the summer after I started high school. I went on my first foreign mission trip. This was a 10-day stint in Honduras led by my youth minister at the time, Chad Hedgepath. Chad had actually gotten connected with several other people from previous mission trips who were from Houston, Texas (I'm originally from Nashville, TN). These people also went to Honduras at the same time we did. Some of the people who really stuck out in my mind were men by the names of Greg Glenn, Steve Hawley, Thom Besso, and Preston Hill. These men all really impressed me as hard workers who still managed to have fun doing whatever they did. 

Back to 2 years ago, I got a call from the head of Westbury Christian School about an open position. The head was Greg Glenn whom I had done mission work with in Honduras. Steve Hawley, who taught Bible and coached girls basketball, had mentioned my name to Greg and the ball began rolling. Greg asked me to come to WCS as a Campus Minister, Bible Teacher, and Basketball Coach. This was exactly what I had always wanted!

So I finally had a job. I moved my things out to the massive city of Houston. My second day of in-service was also the first day of in-service for all returning teachers. Shortly after breakfast on this second day, the middle school principal made an introduction of one of his teachers to me that changed my life forever. Her name was Ashley Bonine. Ashley was wearing khaki pants and a black top and she was stunningly beautiful. After speaking to her for just a few seconds, I learned that she was the daughter-in-law of Preston Hill (sound familiar?). I asked her which of his kids she had married because I had met his youngest daughter, Meggan, while in Honduras. She told me she had married the oldest, Michael, and they had two daughters, Audrey and Addison. It was after this that she had explained to me what had happened in her life.

I'll give a quick rundown of what Ashley had been through before I had met her. When she was 20, her parents both died in a murder/suicide one night. She had already given birth to Audrey and she still says that she is what got her through that whole process. It was also during this time that Michael stood by Ashley's side and tried to help her through this. Ashley suffered from PTSD for some time after this. She told me that he said that he knew he wanted to marry her when he realized that she was going to make it out on the other side. About 3 years after they were married, they gave birth to Addison. Addison looked EXACTLY like her father (I'll try and post pictures to prove it. Just trust me for now). As she has gotten older, she has developed some of the features of her mother. 

When Addison was 2 and Audrey was 7, a horrible tragedy happened. Ashley woke up in the middle of the night to the sound of Michael being unable to breathe. After being rushed to the hospital, doctors eventually learned that Michael was suffering from a brain aneurism. Michael Bonine passed away just four days later. He was only 35 years old. Ashley had many nights after that where she did not sleep. She still claims that this is the hardest thing that she has ever endured.

After she had told me about losing Michael, I was at a loss for words as many people tend to be when they hear of something like that. I simply told her that I was sorry for her loss. It was at this point that something hit me that never had before. I felt like I had a place in her life. I can't explain it much more than that. Before you think "Oh it was love at first sight!" or "What an instant connection!"let me immediately say that it was none of that. To tell you the truth, I was still in the process of getting over a girl whom I dated throughout most of college and so I wasn't really interested in dating anyone at the time. It was also pretty obvious that Ashley was still getting over losing Michael. After all, it had only been 16 months. Even still, I could not shake this feeling that I was supposed to play some sort of role in her and her girls' lives. I just didn't really know exactly what role that was.

So school began for us both. As I got more adjusted to school, I got a better feel for who was who and the times I would see different co-workers. Usually the only times that I would see Ashley was either passing by in the hall or in middle school chapel. We were mostly just acquaintances for most of the that first semester simply because we did not cross paths very often. As the school year went on though, I began to really notice her. She was someone who could befriend anyone she met almost instantly. She was someone who would steal the spotlight without even knowing it and then immediately hop out of it because she doesn't like receiving public praise. I finally told one of the teachers who was pretty close to her, Mrs. Strom, that I would love the opportunity to date her. Donna told me not to try because she really only dated older guys. 

One day during the spring semester she asked me what I was doing on a Saturday afternoon, I seriously got super jacked up because for some stupid reason I actually thought that she was going to ask me out (I know, I'm an idiot). She wanted me to help her move into her new house. Of course I helped out, partially because I didn't mind a bit and had nothing going on that day but mostly because of the crush I had on her.

School ended and I left for the summer. When I came back, I sat next to her during breakfast on the first day of in-service. We pretty much just hit it off from there. We talked on the phone for about 3 hours one night, I went to her place a couple of times with other people and we even went on "fake dates" which was where we both wanted them to be real dates but I didn't really officially ask her out so they weren't for real. After one of our fake dates, we talked for a little bit longer at her house and I almost asked her out, but chickened out. When I was driving home that night, she sent me a text about how she wished I could've stayed to talk longer. If that wasn't a major sign for "ASK ME OUT ALREADY!!" then I didn't know what was. I actually turned my truck around and met her at her front door and finally asked her out, to which I got the response of "Maybe...... because I'm not sure about my situation..." to which I replied "I'm not asking you to marry me, I'm just asking you to let me take you out." She was ok with that. We actually stayed at her placed talking the rest of that night. Neither of us slept. (Preston if you're reading this then you now understand why I was a zombie during DMT that one day of in-service).

About a week after I had first gone out with Ashley, I got to meet the girls (even though we kinda knew each other already from school, but still, some things had kinda changed). I met Addison first because Audrey was out of town with some friends. Addy was barely 5 years old when we first met. She was skeptical about me mainly because she didn't really get what was going on. She just noticed that mommy was holding the new guy's hand and she wasn't too crazy about that. We went to Swirl                                                                      that first night which was her favorite place to go to. She called it "Squirrel." Addy spent most of that night telling me about her daily routine going to and from school and what she plays with after school all the while repeating most everything twice for me. At the age of 5, no one can pronounce the letter R correctly. I'll never forget the first look she ever gave me when she caught me kissing her mom. It was a "how dare you!" look. Ashley and I couldn't help but laugh. Addison has always been a mama's girl according to Ashley.

I met Audrey a few days after meeting Addy. Audrey was very open to me dating her mom. I think she has always been a fan of me. She's made it very clear that I am not the replacement for her daddy and I have made it very clear to her that I am not trying to be. We have both also made it very clear that we love each other. 

I have different special things with each of the girls. Mine with Addison is tickling and "CPR" and Audrey's is our late night talks when tucking her in bed and the movies we watch together. That girl can watch absolutely anything that goes on the black box..... except for sports (I know, you can't win 'em all)

Later this month, we will (Lord willing) close on our new house. I've had to learn everything about buying and selling a house on the fly. I have to say that it's really not fun. I wish the process were easier. I'm enjoying being a fiance and future father way more.

My New Family

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Michael and Addison Bonine