A Big Announcement (No, we're not pregnant)

Recently, it’s seemed like mine and Ashley’s lives have been going at a million miles per hour. Since mid January, we have had 1 weekend where we have had nothing going on for either of us. Nothing as in no retreats, camps, workshops, birthdays, out of town trips, etc. Surprisingly with it being Easter and me being a minister, this is a weekend for us where not a lot is going on. 

Even with this being the case, Ashley’s workload doesn’t seem to decrease. If anything, it seems like it increases. I’m not great when it comes to cleaning around the house, but I do try. There are certain facets of the house that my beautiful wife is rather particular about. Those facets are things that I don’t go near because we both know that after I’m done, she’ll just go and re-do everything I just finished doing. On top of this, Ashley is just two weeks away from receiving her masters degree in Instructional and Curriculum Design in Integrated Math and Science in Education from the University of Houston (I just say it’s a masters in teaching stuff, I had to get the actual wording from her). Even though she is so close, it seems as though it’s just getting harder for her. I related to her situation by telling her about the time I ate a 2 pound cheeseburger a couple of years ago and how even when I only had a few bites left, it seemed like I’d have to eat forever….. She said that didn’t really apply to her situation…. Agree to disagree.

Back in January, it seemed like things were never going to slow down for her. At the time, Ashley was teaching 6th grade science at Huntsville Intermediate School. This was a job that she found very difficult. The atmosphere and culture change from private education to public proved to be an extremely difficult one for her. After going over finances and seeing that we were ok for the next several months, we realized that we could afford to take a little bit of a risk in her making a shift. Ashley resigned from her teaching job in mid February. Shortly after resigning, she was contacted by the mom of one of my teens in the youth group who happens to own and operate a local magazine. She offered Ashley the office manager position as it had just recently become available. This was a great shift for her as it was a 4 day week and all work was left at the office and never needed to come home with her. This was a great job for her as it was very low stress and gave her an opportunity to still make some money. 

Grad school still did not make things easy. She took 12 hours in this past fall semester and only 6 this spring semester but she has told me on more than one occasion that this semester has been much harder than the last. Oftentimes when she gets home, she is still forced to go back to our bedroom and get straight to work. She has come so far in such a short amount of time and I am ridiculously proud of her. She makes it really easy for me to call her my hero. 

About a month ago, Ashley got a call from one of the Shepherds wives at our church. She is on the Board of Trustees for the Pregnancy Care Center of Southeast Texas. The PCC is in the center of Huntsville and practically across the street from Sam Houston State University. She told Ashley that they were currently in search of a new executive director as the current director was looking to retire and that she should apply. This happened to come at an interesting time for us because just a few months ago, we had gone to the PCC benefit dinner and I distinctly remember Ashley saying after the dinner that she felt like God was calling her to use her story to help others and the PCC would be a really good way to do that.

The fact that Ashley was a single mom for nearly a year before marrying Michael would be such a cool story for an executive director to have for a place like this. She turned in an application and her resume (which is so impressive that it makes my resume look like used toilet paper). Soon after this, she was contacted about coming in for an interview for this position. She said that the fact that she got an interview alone was a huge honor for her. Here’s why.

The Pregnancy Care Center of Southeast Texas is quite possibly the largest non-profit organization in Huntsville (it’s at least top 3 for sure). Their primary goals are to help women make wise and godly decisions involving their bodies and the bodies of their unborn babies. They offer counseling, limited healthcare, and Bible studies to women who walk through their doors and they are also partnered with a resale shop that helps these women. The PCC and the local private Christian school, Alpha Omega Academy, are two very special organizations for this city. They benefit the people involved greatly but maybe just as importantly, these two organizations are places where all the churches of Huntsville seem to come together and agree on. Denominations sadly tend to divide people on religious matters, but the PCC and Alpha are organizations where they all seem to come together and agree with whats going on. They both spread the good news of Jesus Christ and try to help people at some of their more vulnerable spots. 

After a second interview and an immeasurable amount of praying by both our family and the board, Ashley accepted the offer to be the new executive director of the PCC. She will immediately become a very well known person in this city when she begins early next month. She has some huge shoes to fill as well because Kris and her staff have been fantastic. We agreed that she needs to be finished with her masters before taking on a job like this. It’s sort of amazing that she talked to me about how she thought that she needed to be more involved with the PCC about 6 months ago. Whats even more incredible is how about a year and a half ago, she told me after a women of faith conference that she thought that God had called her to use her story to help women going through what she had been through. 

If you’re genuinely wondering if God is real, then talk with my wife. Let her tell you her story. Let her tell you any story, whether it be how we ended up together, how she made it through what she made it through, or how she is working the job she is working. Fully knowing her story, I believe that I can completely put my Bible aside and still believe that God is alive and working through His Spirit today (For those of you who know me know thats a big deal. Almost everything I live out and do has something to do with scripture.) I have a hard time believing that God doesn’t exist when looking into the eyes of my wife. Justice, mercy, grace, and love are just a few things that perfectly describe her testimony.

So overall, no we’re not pregnant (and we get asked that about once a week by different people), but I think this is even better. I plan to back her at every opportunity that I get in this ministry and although this will be her thing, I have every intention of playing a role. It’s the same way with her being involved in my ministry. Instead of bringing a baby into the world in 9 months, we (but mainly Ashley and her incredible staff) have intentions of helping hundreds of babies into this world and equipping their mothers with everything they need over that same 9 month span. Ashley has called this her dream job if she were to get it so now that she got it, she can now say that she’s living the dream. I guess that makes two of us now.

A Special Wedding

This past Saturday, the 12th, I had the honor of officiating my first wedding. It was pretty cool because it was the wedding of two of my close friends, Jake Thurman and Kristen Matlock. I was slightly nervous but figured that since I had everything manuscript, it couldn’t go just horribly wrong. Their wedding was in Luther, Oklahoma which is a little ways outside of Edmond where I went to college. This meant that I got to be reunited with all of my friends from college. A large part of who I am can be attributed to my roommates and a few guys I lived practically next door to. 

Every time I pay a visit to Edmond, I am now asked the same question. “When are you gonna bring your wife and girls up here for us to meet?” Finally, that question could be answered when I convinced them to join me. We made the six and a half hour trek up to our Edmond hotel on Friday just in time to check in before going to the wedding rehearsal. The girls are good travelers when they have distractions in front of them (ex: dvd players and iPads). I brought my girls along with me to the rehearsal and that’s when all of our fun began. The longer we were around my friends and their spouses, the more Ashley and the girls took to my friends. It was a beautiful thing for me to see because I have wanted them to know a large part of why I am the way I am and the people we spent the weekend with had a large hand in influencing that. By the end of the weekend the girls were inviting them over to our house to spend the night, which is something that might be a little harder than they realize with it being just a little bit of a drive. 

As the main event approached on Saturday night, I was hanging out with Jake and all of the groomsmen outside when I got a text about 15 minutes before the wedding was supposed to start. It was from Ashley and all it said was “completely lost”. I immediately called her and she was in semi-panic mode because of how badly she wanted to be there for the whole thing. I didn’t say it over the phone because I didn’t want her to feel bad but I felt the same way. This made me realize something. 

Every time I do anything publicly, I want my wife there. I think it’s something that we both want and I also think that when our roles are reversed, she wants me there just as bad as I want to be there. I have found a lot of comfort in being the number 1 fan of my number 1 fan. We are each other’s biggest cheerleaders, even if we might be terrible at whatever it is we’re doing. Ashley could be my only audience and that would be alright with me.

After switching GPS apps on her phone and some grace, I received a text about 5 minutes before the wedding saying “victory” and to my relief, I watched my gorgeous wife and 2 cute daughters sign in at the wedding and sit down. We started a few minutes late and so I had time to watch them make their way in and I told all the groomsmen how hot of a wife I had (not sure if any of them heard me though so I thought I’d mention it here to make sure they knew I said that!). I also got to be in a unique position in that I was the last guy with Jake before he became a married man. He helped me realize what I was like right before I got married and that that was that he was nervous as all get out. I did my best to remind him that I was doing 95 percent of the talking and that all he had to do was say I do, repeat anything I told him to repeat, and kiss Kristen when I told him to. He told me the same thing I told myself which was that he understood and yet was still nervous. I finally told him the last thing I remember before getting married and that was that he will feel nervous the entire time all the way up until he sees Kristen walking down the aisle. Once he sees that, everything else will go away and nothing will make him nervous anymore.

When he finally saw his stunningly beautiful bride, Kristen coming down the aisle with her dad, he had a look on his face I had never seen before. It was a smile that looked like he was comforted. I never got a chance to ask him after the wedding if that nervous feeling went away, but if it didn’t, then he sure did hide it well. 

Honestly, my favorite part was when Jake and me first got up in front of everyone. Jake was busy scanning the area seeing who all was there and smiling at all of the family and groomsmen/bridesmaids coming down the aisle. I was scanning the area, but only looking for one person. It turns out, Ashley was trying to make eye contact with me the whole time like she already knew what I was doing and to say “I’m right here!” Officiating Jake and Kristen’s wedding was something that I’ll always cherish and remember, but my favorite part was having my wife and girls there.

As the reception went on, Audrey and Addison became social butterflies as my friends all came to meet them and Ashley. They did what they tend to do and found 2 or 3 people to cling to and play with. Somehow, Ryne Wilson came out on top as the top teddy bear of the night with Corey and Amber Pless taking a close second. A big shout out to my best friend Colby Fabrie for convincing the girls to give our boxer puppy yet another last name now making him Triton Tyrone Bonine Lankford Esquire Colby.

I think that road trips are starting to become one of my favorite things to do with Ashley and the girls. We don’t like the drive too much but so far, our trips to Nashville and Oklahoma City have been well worth the trip. I’m so blessed to have family that loves and appreciates my roots and influences. That’s the dream. I’m living it.