My Next Chapter

I've been waiting for some time to pass to write this post but it's been coming for some time. The last couple of months have been the most hectic since I became a husband, dad, and first time homeowner with a new job all in about 4 months (I could be wrong but I can't see those 4 months ever being topped). It honestly kind of difficult to even figure out where to begin. Maybe just being straightforward will be a good start.

At the end of July, I accepted an offer from the Northwest Church of Christ in San Antonio, Texas to become their new associate minister. My family and I are  officially out of Huntsville and out of youth ministry. This move comes with an array of emotions. Some of those feelings I will be diving into and others I will not. My role will have me primarily working with young adults in this church. I'll be overseeing all those 18-35. There will be more challenges and responsibilities, something that I have desired for some time now. I am now a couple of weeks in on the job and it has been really great so far. This church has never hired for a position like this so we are both learning about each other and ourselves as we go along. A very popular term in church and ministry right now is "organic" which is a reference to the desire that churches have to make ministry and mission happen naturally as opposed to programs. I'm a fan of this.

For some time now, I have felt God calling me to something different from what I have been doing. There have been some very high and low moments throughout this process for me. I am forever grateful to my students and parents who were and are a part of the youth ministry in Huntsville. They will always have a special place in my heart and I could write a completely separate blog about so many individuals having such a huge impact on my life and my family's lives (and I just may at some point!). With this being said, God opened a number of different doors at a number of different times and places that have ultimately led me to where I am now in San Antonio.

We are very excited about this new chapter for our family (also don't worry about the picture at the top if you don't watch the NBA or know who Kevin Durant is). We have always loved getaways to San Antonio and all that it has to offer. The church is about a ten minute drive from both SeaWorld and Six Flags as well as 15-20 minutes from downtown and the riverwalk. We are in the TexMex capitol of the world which happens to be Ashley's favorite kind of food. We are a reasonable drive from virtually every kind of restaurant and shopping store in existence and about 20 minutes from the San Antonio airport. The church has been wonderful to us as well. They have solid youth ministry and children's ministry programs and a terrific lead pastor who has been working alongside this church for 25 years. This church even had several people spend their Saturday morning a few weeks ago helping us move most of our things into a storage unit! They have all been very good to us early on and we're excited to continue this work for years to come.

One very difficult part of this transition has been the selling of our house. We simply struck out in finding a buyer for a very long time and while there is a contract on our house now, the in-between part has been rough on our family both financially and mentally. We are staying at an Airbnb townhome about 10 miles from our new church and the girls' schools. This has been fine for the time being but we are basically paying double rent on only my salary. Ashley is still in the hunt for a job out here and there are a couple of very nice possibilities but she is mainly staying focused on caring for the two littles while getting our housing stuff situated. We have a contract on a house that is a mile from the church and 3 miles from the girls' schools. One thing I am now pretty sure of. Buying and selling houses is absolutely miserable on so many levels. Our buying and selling realtors have both been fantastic but the process is still awful and don't get me started about moving..... ok now that I've mentioned moving I'll just say that it blows and that's all.

I think that perhaps the most difficult portion of this has been watching Ashley go through everything. Ashley voluntarily walked away from her job as the executive director of the Care Center, a job she openly referred to as her dream job, a job where she daily felt fulfilled, a job that she dearly loved, a job that she was crazy good at. This ministry more than doubled in size and clients in her four years there. She walked away from that job for no other jobs in sight. She walked away because she wanted to follow me with our children to San Antonio. I have held her as she has cried on multiple occasions. She has been supportive despite her giving up what she loved for my calling. She has strong during this time of crazy transition in between houses and moving schools for our girls. She has transformed herself into a temporary stay at home mother in order to care for and love on our kids. She has potty trained our son, which has been quite the task to say the least (he wants to facetime people every time he goes so that they can see his "finished work"). She has also tried to control this little one as she has learned to walk. 

Millie

This has been good because we're discovering that there's nothing that she is afraid of.If there is anything that this move has reminded me, it is that, by God's grace and the Spirit's guidance, I am still married to the most incredible woman I have ever met. 

Despite these transition pains, things our wonderful with our family and we have not stopped discussing and imagining all the things that God is doing in our family and in our new church and city. We are always experiencing something new and exciting. Audrey is 16, we all know what that means. Addy is the oldest at her new school (who's to say she doesn't shove all her classmates and the occasional teacher in a cubby?!), my main man is learning to use the potty, and the little sweet girl has a sinister side to her (check out my last fb video. girl is a savage!).

While we will miss so many faces back in Huntsville, we are looking forward to so many things here with Northwest. We look forward to what God has laid out for us working in His Kingdom and He has plans we didn't even know were a possibility. 

Amelia Ella Kay

I have a confession to make. I'm in love with another woman besides my wife. As a matter of fact, I'm in love with three. They all have their different quirks about them. I wouldn't trade them for any other girls in this world. They are my daughters. The journey with the two older girls has been fun, frustrating, rewarding, glamorous, disheartening, and incredible. The good has outweighed the bad and it's not even close. 

Being a dad to a high schooler has been interesting to say the least, particularly when she expresses interest in a boy who happens to be in the very class that I teach at her school (so is Audrey!). I try so hard to sound impressed when she tells me about all the different boys whom she found out have a crush on her, the whole time I want to beg her to talk to me about anything else. A-N-Y-T-H-I-N-G.

Addy is the most consistent 10 year old that I have ever met and I mean that in a good way and bad way. We always know exactly what to expect from her. She is most definitely not going to make her room look like a tank drove through it. She will by all means not clean it up until we make her. She will definitely take a good 4 hours to clean up this mess when Ashley or me could accomplish this task in less than 30 minutes. 

Some of these things will change over time. Some I'm not sure ever will (Dear God, bless the man whom Addison marries and shares a room with. May he be wealthy enough to hire a maid. Amen). However, there is a new girl who has overwhelmed me for the past year. She goes by Millie and she calls me "da da" currently. She has blue eyes and somehow reddish hair that sticks up like it's a magnet. She is the happiest baby I have ever seen. Everything is wonderful and she never wants to go to sleep because she doesn't want to miss a thing. While my generation or Millenials are noted for living by the term "YOLO" Generation Z (those ages 7-22) are noted for living by a term that most of them live by but few ever say, "FOMO" or Fear Of Missing Out. This describes Millie to a tee. 

Two weeks from tomorrow, Millie will turn a year old. She is our final and youngest child. She befriends everyone whom she makes eye contact with despite being virtually unable to speak. Perhaps her favorite person to be around (obviously besides her mother) is probably her big brother, Gatlin. This is ironic to us because in his quest to love her and be affectionate towards her, he beats her up. I promise he means well, we've just had to be very diligent about explaining to him repeatedly what the word "gentle" means. She constantly tries to follow him everywhere, play with the toys he plays with, eat the food he eats, and even talk to him even though she doesn't really say words.

The Millie experience has been a poetic one for me. God gave me three women in my life when I married the most incredible woman I have ever met. Learning to live with all women was quite the challenge. At times, my seminary degree would have been easier to do. God gave me some backup with Gatlin, but he opened my eyes once more with Millie. Millie has caused me to imagine Audrey and Addy when they were babies, something that has been difficult for me to do simply because I wasn't in the picture when that was happening for either of them. I can imagine their eyes when they experience things for the first time. I can picture them laughing. I can envision them gazing upon their mother. I really think that that look hasn't changed hardly at all since that time when they were Millie's age. 

Millie's role has been to bring joy into our world. I thought that we had plenty of that already. God showed me through Millie that there was more to have. I don't think that I can put limits on these spiritual fruits any longer because every time that I think that I have hit the ceiling. I'm shown more through Ashley, one of the kids, or one of my students. 

She makes her mommy feel like the most important woman in the world, and to Millie, she is and not just because she is her food source (yep, that's exactly what she was for Gatlin). They have a special bond. Ashley will openly admit that she's a girl mom and is still learning the art of raising a boy. I equate it to riding a rollercoaster blindfolded: you really don't know what is going on but you also know that you'll be ok in the end. Millie and Ashley are smitten with one another. The again, I'm not sure if there's anyone who isn't smitten with Millie after spending about 5 minutes with her. 

I wasn't sure how I would feel about having yet another girl in my life. I mean, think about it, that's not only another college to try and pay for, but also another wedding (am I a horrible dad for secretly considering encouraging my kids to elope if it's the right guy and they're ready???). That's another hormonal 13 year old. I'm already in an estrogen ocean. What's one more right? It's another person to gripe about the toilet seat being up, it's another person to fight boys away from. 

But then I think about all the privileges I get to have once again. I get to express to yet another woman how she means more to me than any other man. I get to have her first dance (it was like 6 months and she won't remember it, but I'll never forget it). I was the first man she ever kissed. I mean it was open-mouthed and she slobbered all over me, but it was a kiss nonetheless. I get to share with her the story of God's divine plan for her that runs through the life and cross of Jesus. And with Millie being a girl, that's another sex talk that I don't have to be the primary voice in! (sorry not sorry Ashley). 

God knew exactly what he was doing when he gave our family one final girl. Millie makes each of us whole. She brightens our faces and brings us joy on incomprehensible levels. Thank God for Amelia Ella Kay. Happy first birthday sweet girl.