One Shining Moment

A couple of weeks ago, I had the opportunity to go back to Westbury Christian School and speak in chapel. WCS is where I had my very first full time job ever. I was a Campus Minister, Bible Teacher, and Basketball Coach. This job is one that I will always be grateful for for so many different reasons. Obviously, it was nice to have a full time job after going four months out of college with no job offers. I love my family and was very appreciative of my parents for taking me in, but it was pretty difficult to have worked so hard for four years in college and feel like it was all for nothing. I wasn't familiar with Houston at all but I was very excited to try a new place and experience a new life with a new job that I would wake up to every day. I was also excited to be going to a job everyday where I would get to do my two favorite things with students: Bible and Basketball However,  the best reason that I'm thankful for WCS the most is because it is there that I met the most amazing woman I have ever met and her two incredible children. Ashley was entering her second year as a middle school science teacher, Audrey was starting the 3rd grade and Addison was in her final year of Pre-K. I actually knew them for a year before Ashley and I began dating (fun side note: if someone is ever dumb enough to turn this blog into a book, then I just decided on its title: Bible, Babes, and Basketball)

I had the honor of speaking at both middle school and high school chapel and Ashley decided that she would take the day off from work and come with me. When we walked in and started saying to people and walked around the buiding, I was amazed at how so many things had changed so drastically and how so many things had stayed the same. The student body looked older, taller, more like the adults they are becoming that they weren't anywhere close to being when we were still there. Some of the faculty were still there and welcomed us with open arms while others had gone on to other various jobs. My old boss, Greg Glenn had moved to Nashville to become the new head of school at Lipscomb Academy, which happens to be my alma mater. The guidance counselor, Mike White, has since moved up and filled the position. 

I got to see so many students and how so many of them had grown and matured. I got to see Galen Robinson from a ways off. G will be playing for the University of Houston basketball team next year. He's one of the high school players whom I enjoyed coaching and watching play the most and one of the people I wanted so badly to teach. I got to see Armani Crosby and Micah Flowers, two sophomores who were a part of my first junior high basketball team I ever had the honor of coaching. I got to see Laura Nelson who is the only student to attend every spring break mission trip the school has ever done since I helped start it 4 years ago and the younger sister of MJ, one of the most impressive students I ever had. I got to see Rosaline Akwarandu (very likely misspelled) who is evidently a big fan of this blog (I didn't really know anyone besides my family actually reads this thing. I see the number of pageviews but I just assume that my mom looks at it and clicks the refresh button repeatedly to make me feel good about myself as a writer. That only worked the first time, then I found out she was doing that.) and she requested another post (you're welcome). I got to see Jennifer Zalud who runs the copies to everyone in our school and might be one of the more fun people to be around amongst the entire faculty. I got to see Jennifer's son Jon who will be a senior next year and is the real ladies man according to Jennifer. I got to see Trey Austin who is coming off a second straight boys high school state championship as the basketball coach. I got to see Lindsey Loxtercamp who has about 4 different jobs at the school and was always someone I respected and enjoyed being around. I got to see Coach O and Laren McCormack who were the other campus ministers and basically saved the spring break mission trip in so many different ways when I made a billion mistakes getting it started. I could spend the rest of this post giving more shout outs but I think you get the picture at this point. 

It is evident that so many things had to happen in so many different ways in order for these different teachers, faculty, students, and friends to arrive at the point that each of them are in their lives. Something that amazes me more and more are the intricate plans that God has in all of our lives. Things really can happen for a reason when they happen in the right place and time. If Trey Austin hadn't recruited Galen Robinson, I never would have met G. If it wasn't for my relationship with David Akwarandu, I probably never would have gotten to know his younger sister Rosaline. If not for MJ, I doubt Laura Nelson ever goes on any of the mission trips. Without my computer not cooperating with me and forcing me to print a different way from all the other teachers while at WCS, I doubt I would ever need to spend hardly any time in the copy room and never really get to know Jennifer Zalud. Without Coach O and Laren, the mission trip would no longer exist (and probably never would have happened!). 

God lines different people up in my life and the lives of all of us so that we can have so many different impacts on so many different people. Something that Jesus spent so much time doing was telling people that they were to be a fruit bearing kind of people. This only registered with certain people listening to him. Something that he talked to them about was that those who cannot bear fruit will be cut off and thrown into the fire (fire is pretty self explanatory for what that means). For so much of my life, I translated the command of "bearing fruit" in my life for needing to make disciples of Jesus out of those I come in contact with. While this is something I believe to be admirable and important, I also think that I have been partially wrong about this. I recently heard at a youth conference a reference that Jesus made about bearing fruit and what it takes to do so. In John 15:5, Jesus said "I am the vine; you are the branches. If you abide in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing."

David Skidmore, the speaker, highlighted how Jesus said that we didn't have to run all over the world making disciples. We simply had to do what Jesus said and abide in him. This hit home with me in such a huge way. I mentioned at the beginning of this post that WCS is where I met Ashley and the girls. What I didn't completely mention is how we were able to meet in the first place. 

When I was just 16 years old, I went on my first foreign mission trip to Honduras. It was on the way down that I learned that a group from Houston, TX would be joining us. It was on this mission trip that I became good friends with several different people from the Houston group. Three of these men really stood out though. They were Steve Hawley, Greg Glenn, and Preston Hill. We would all go on future trips together and looked forward to seeing each other every chance we got. At the time, Greg was the athletic director and basketball coach at WCS. The summer that I met Preston was the summer that Ashley married her late husband, Michael. I did not even realize it while on these trips, but I had somehow made a decent impression on all three of those guys. It was because of that first trip when I was 16 years old that Steve Hawley remembered me and recommended me to his boss. It was because of that trip that I got a call from Greg Glenn, the head of WCS at the time, 8 years later offering me a job. It was because of that job that I met a tall, beautiful brunette wearing a black top and khaki pants on my second day of work named Ashley, who told me that she was the daughter-in-law of Preston Hill and lost her husband a little over a year and a half ago at the time. It was because of that trip that took place almost 12 years ago that gave me the opportunity to date Ashley and have the approval of her in-laws (Preston and his family)almost immediately. I thought going to Honduras 12 years ago was something that was supposed to change me and make me more humble, giving, thoughtful, and loving. I thought that I was going to make disciples of Christ and while that might have taken place in some ways, I think God might have viewed that as abiding the way he calls us to. People who have done mission work will tell you that you end up being more changed at the end of the mission work than the people who you went to help change, that you always get more out of it than you put in. With a wife, two daughters, and a son on the way (oh yea, it's a boy!)I have absolutely no idea how I could possibly get more out of abiding than I already have, but I won't be putting limits on God, I like to think he lol's when people do that. When Michael passed away, Ashley decided that the best move for her was to take a teaching job so that she could have summers off and spend as much time with the girls as possible while also being able to be close to them during the school year. She got in touch with a friend of hers named Casey Farris who was the middle school principal at WCS. He offered her a teaching job there where she assumed she could suck it up during the school year and be able to focus on Audrey and Addison as much as possible. That's all she wanted God to do for her. I think he might have lol'd there. (I apologize for the excessive use of lol. I think it's dumb too but I figured the WCS students who apparently read this might appreciate it. It won't happen again)

The NCAA men's basketball tournament ended a little over a month ago. One of the traditions that CBS, who broadcasts the tournament, has is when the winning team is crowned champion at the end, they play the song "One Shining Moment" by David Barrett while showing various clips of the entire season of the winning team. As ridiculously cheesy as it is, that is where I stole the title of this post from (don't judge me). The concept of the song is that the team put in so much work before and during the season with the dream and goal of the one shining moment when the team can stand on the pedestal and raise the national championship trophy with pride. I like to look at the message of this song in a different way. Most championship teams will tell you that there was a game or even moment in a game when everything changed and they took on a different attitude and you could feel something different about them. I think that seems to be how God prefers to do his work. Oftentimes we do not know it, but God has these moments where we meet people or say or do something that impacts us and those involved in a tremendous way. The moments may not be shining, oftentimes they are anything but that. However, God has a plan. All we simply have to do is abide.

The family at Easter 2015

When You're Expecting...

So we are expecting our third child this year. Originally, we thought that it would be late July for the arrival date but it's looking like it could be a little later than that. if you haven't seen the announcement video then click here. I am realizing that the closer we come to having this baby, them more things pop into my head about this baby.

Ashley and I started dating when Audrey was 10 and Addison was 5. That basically goes to say that I was invited to the party that is their lives until 5 and 10 years after they started (selfish). I have had several different guys whom I have known for a while notify me that they and their wives are expecting daughters and that they'll be contacting me about advice on what to do when raising daughters. My response is that I can't but that I will be happy to as soon as the daughter turns 5.

This goes to say that I'm pretty much in the dark when it comes to this baby being born. We won't know the gender for another couple of months. Obviously, I will love this child unconditionally no matter what, but I would be lying if I said I wasn't pulling for a boy. Having 3 girls who are the opposite of tomboys tends to get kinda lonely on the testosterone end of things. The only other boy in the house besides me is our year old boxer puppy who is possibly the worst behaved dog ever. Addison just came in here 10 minutes ago to notify us that he had jump up on her bed and peed in it. Needless to say I'm the only appreciated male in this house and we could use one more. However, a healthy girl would be a total blessing beyond my wildest dreams. There will be a lot of estrogen in the house if this happens, but I am already preparing for it. I have been watching a lot of the tv show "Last Man Standing" starring Tim Allen to help prep for what could be to come. The show is about a manly man who lives with his wife and three daughters. I'm not exactly like Allen's character but some of the scenarios in the show do happen in my house. It's fun to watch and relate to on some level.

I am setting a lot of expectations for this kid and even more expectations for myself. This is very likely going to be the only child that Ashley and me have together. Something that I am making it a point to do is to gratify the girls through this. It is imperative to me that they do not think that I am partial to this child in any way. I love them just as much as this baby and that will never change. I also want to do all of the things that a good dad should do. I want to always be there for the kid. I want to help pick him/her up when he/she falls, I want to teach and discipline him/her. I want to teach the child how to ride a bike, tie a shoe, a dribble a basketball. I need to also convince myself that this isn't entirely realistic. Something that I have learned in being a dad to Audrey and Addison is that I will fail in parenting this child at times, just like I have with them. This doesn't make me a bad father or a bad person. It simply proves that I am human and make mistakes and this leads me to the biggest expectation that I have for myself: I want to admit my faults to this child. I think that this is something that parents can sometimes miss. It's something that can cause a kid to be very stubborn down the road if this becomes something that the kid never sees.

James the brother of Jesus said to confess our sins to one another and I think that this includes our kids. Now don't read this as me telling you or anyone else how to parent. Hopefully it's something that I look back at and use for myself in trying to parent and raise kids. My goal is to raise a child in Christ and when I fail at that, which will inevitably happen, I plan on admitting the fault and making it a point to do better.

The One Year Mark

So I'm catching up after a long break from writing. I'm discovering that this can be therapeutic for me amongst other things. Something that I want to do more this year is write more. I still plan on reflection more than anything else because I'm the last person that should be giving marriage or parenting advice because I don't have it figured out by any stretch of the imagination.

This past September, Ashley and I (and the girls for that matter) hit the one year mark. I can't help but be blown away that God has put these three amazing girls in my life. They have been the one of the greatest challenges of my life and I mean that in a very good way. I'm discovering that the greatest challenges in life also double as the most rewarding things in life. I think the top of that list is my relationship with God. It is by far the most rewarding because I think He's the source of all of my other rewards. 

My family and I have had some amazing times together. We took up camping, drove 13 straight hours on a road trip to my original hometown of Brentwood, TN, dressed up as a s'more for Halloween as a family, got the worst behaved puppy in the world, had our first snow days (I only thought that would be possible if we ever moved to Tennessee), and collectively did some foreign mission work. I have learned that as a husband of a non-tomboy woman and dad of two not-even-close-to-being-a-tomboy girls, you learn to play several different roles for the sake of your women. This past year, I have been the tooth fairy, Santa Claus, the assassin of closet monsters, the cushiony landing strip on the couch (we call it the "Run-N-Jump"), Goldie Lox (the girls were the 3 bears), and my favorite, daddy.

I wanted to share some things that I have learned in the past year. Hopefully I look back on this at some point and it benefits me or maybe someone else who's somewhere along this road.

1. Anyone who tells you marriage and/or parenting is easy is a liar. These are two legit challenges that are almost impossible to be completely prepared for. Don't get me wrong, I'm not complaining by any means and Ashley, Audrey, and Addison are my 3 favorite people in this world. However, it takes some adjusting to go from single bachelor to married with two kids. Ashley and I have had our rough patches for sure, most of the time it's been my own fault, but I can tell you that going through those things makes you love someone even more. Ashley is my best friend. It's been that way since we started dating and I hope it stays that way forever. 
2. Anyone who says that marriage and parenting is a joy is a truth teller. One thing I will add is that I think making it a point to spend most of that time with my wife makes it the most beneficial. At some point the girls will grow up and move away and hopefully even get married....... to a millionaire!!! (kidding........ sort of....). When kids have grown up and moved out of the house, I don't want to have to rediscover the love I once had for Ashley. I want to grow even deeper in the love that has already grown so much. I want to enjoy the empty nest instead of simply sit and long for the kids to visit. I want to spoil grandkids with my bride. I want us to win the couples golf tournament together (I know, a little ambitious but a guy can hope, right?)
3. Embracing adult life isn't as bad as I thought it would be. I originally thought that I could never mature the way so many people would. I'll stand by some of the things that I loved as a kid and still love but a lot of it has changed. Cracker Barrel has become amazing all of a sudden. One of my goals this summer is to have a decent looking lawn. Video games are still fun. I just keep getting better with a grill and camping is more fun now than it used to be. Car seats in the back of my car reek of sexiness to my wife and so is the sight of me folding laundry so those things are kinda worth it.
4. Recovery time is absolutely vital. Now that I am in youth ministry and Ashley runs one of the bigger non-profit organizations in the city, we have a lot on our plate and can get stressed out. We both work with all different shapes and sizes of people and the jobs can be draining for both of us at various times. I think some of the toughest times we faced in our marriage this past year came when one or both of us were extremely stressed out. Recovery time together and sometimes even apart has been absolutely critical for us to be able to identify some negative impacts on our relationship as well as some positive ones. I heard it recently said that when God gave the Israelites the 10 Commandments, he made remembering the sabbath number 4 because in order to get commandments 5-10 down, we need to be well rested.
5. Never ever be too busy. Busyness is the number one excuse I hear from everyone all the time. This word is particularly prevalent after hearing the word "no". I have come to the conclusion that in this day, age, and culture, everyone is busy all the time and there are very few exceptions. Hearing it has become tiring. I have realized that claiming busyness as an excuse is more of an attempt to justify one's priorities than anything else. When I want to spend time with family, I make it a point to shove things aside for whatever time I can make. I don't want the girls to go through high school thinking that the only people we didn't minister to was them. 
6. Your kids will follow your example. When I first moved in with Ashley and the girls, they always wanted to do everything just like mommy and I was the guy who was simply along for the ride. As time has gone along, they have picked up different things that I might say or do or be into. Addison has gotten into watching Saved By the Bell on Netflix. Audrey has become very interested in her relationship with Christ. Addison will now eat frog legs. Audrey has expressed interest in playing basketball in the future. They both have taken up my love and joy for worship music (and in return I have experienced a renewed interest in Disney music). I have realized just how careful I must be at all times to set the right example. My safest bet is to just do what Paul said, "Follow my example, as I follow the example of Christ" (1 Corinthians 11:1).
7. My wife has reinforced my belief that she is the most amazing woman that I have ever met. Here is a short list of the things that she does on a weekly basis: wife, mom, PCC director, children's committee, youth ministry, junior service league, Huntsville leadership institute, amongst other things. Even with all of this on her plate, she still manages to be the woman that she is. She is patient with me as I learn my new role of husband and dad. She cares for people no matter what the circumstance and she never claims to be too busy. I still can't believe she picked me.
8. Your hobbies will take a backseat to your children's hobbies. I originally thought that this would be absolutely miserable but it has been a total blessing. The girls gave me my first pedicure a few months ago and it really wasn't that bad minus the feminineness. I no longer play video games at my house. We only have a Wii in my living room so that we can play Netflix on it. My Xbox 360 is currently in the trashcan. I am a lot better for that. I'm not nearly as engrossed with basketball as I used to be. The girls hate watching basketball (I know, I can't believe it either.) and for that matter that hate watching pretty much any sports not named Texas A&M football. I'm trying to convert them to at least pretending to care about Tennessee football but it's a real struggle so far.

There are more that could go up but I think I'll save some for later. I know that year two is already off to an amazing start and it will only get better, especially with Baby Lankford being on the way!!! We are so excited about this new addition. I can only assume that I'll have a lot more to be writing about giving all you readers (yea I'm talking to all both of you) some more material to make fun of me for. Regardless of whether you find this stuff funny, ridiculous, inspiring, or whatever else, this life is one of God's gifts to me and I am forever grateful.

Guidelines to Harmonious Living Amongst Females

Something I have tried to do with this blog has been to not give very much advice. I don't know why so many people out there try to tell others how to live their life. I don't have things all figured out in my life, not even close. Because I'm still learning, I try not to tell people how to do life. I won't pretend to be someone that I'm not.

Tonight, however, I am going to do a little bit of rule breaking, but I think it should be fun. For the first 4 months of being married to Ashley, I lived purely amongst females. My wife was a female (and still is..... thank goodness), I have 2 female daughters, our Rhodesian Ridgeback dog is a female, even the bearded dragon that Ashley kept as a classroom pet was a female! (It hit a point where it only made sense to think that Ashley's GMC Yukon, Keurig, and vacuum cleaner were all females).

It was a relief to me when we got a second dog for Christmas. This was a boxer puppy that was about 6 weeks old when we got him. HIM! My only condition in getting this new dog was that it was a male. I didn't even care that he would have to eventually get neutered, I had another male in the house and that was all that I needed. We named him Triton and he has kept us busy ever since we got him.

Even though Triton has given me some sense of manliness in groups again, I am outnumbered and I probably always will be. In light of that, I have had to learn to live a some special rules in my house. These rules make things easier for everyone in the house. I call them "Guidelines for Harmonious Living Amongst Females." Some of these you might find funny, some you might find true, but I promise you that all of these are true in the Lankford household.

1. Always leave the toilet seat down. Pretty much every married man should know what I'm talking about. Any guy who isn't married probably thinks this is garbage/I'm just whipped. Think that if you want but many a time I have been about to fall asleep when I hear a moan or groan coming from the bathroom and then my name shouted due to me leaving the seat in the upright position. I find the best way to avoid it is to just leave the seat down at all times. This will take some practice, but hey, I like target practice.

2. After you have crossed the threshold of your home, sports immediately become obsolete. While this sounds juvenile, it couldn't be more true in my house. This will definitely vary in some households but holds very true in mine. The closest I have come to getting anyone in my family to watching sports with me was when Texas A&M (Ashley's alma mater) played Alabama this past season in football. I got Ashley to "watch" the game with me while she was cooking dinner. I get asked by Audrey why I like basketball at least once a month (she's asking a former basketball coach this question...).

3. Prepare for tears. Lots and lots of tears. I'm not saying it's unmanly to cry. I have definitely shed my share tears over time, but those times are few and far between. I have an 11 year old and 6 year old daughter and they have come up with more reasons to cry than I can count. Ex: the food is too hot, they're too hot, they're too cold, a dog from a book one of them was reading died, bad grades, being caught misbehaving, losing a game, misplacing the game they just lost playing, food tastes bad, mosquito bites, blood (even if it's not their own), thunderstorms, and finally, of course, you're good old fashioned "I just feel like crying okay?!"

4. Pink and Purple are your new favorite colors Not optional

5. A carseat and leftover food will always be in the backseat of your car I can vaguely remember the days when having a loud stereo was cool. You know what's cool in my book now? A clean backseat, but just like how having those Bose speakers was an unrealistic fantasy, so is thinking that leftover breakfast will ever disappear from from the floorboard, usually because it has become one with the carpet.

6. Intimate moments with the wife will almost always be interrupted by the girls. It's like an uncanny phenomenon.....

7. Laundry is a bottomless pit It's unbelievable. It's like once I'm done folding the last load, one of the girls brings their load from the past week which I'm pretty sure I just finished washing and folding. Sometimes I'm convinced they're just punking me.

8. When chicken nuggets are on the menu, your restaurant choices are unlimited When chicken nuggets aren't on the menu, it's gonna be a long and miserable meal regardless of how good the food and service might be. I recommend you pick your battles. This is a battle that I lose around 90% of the time.

9. Disney movies never get old What's that Addy? You want to watch Frozen again for the 13th time and want to sing through all of the songs with the actors for the 7th time? Great. I happen to hate watching Hoosiers, Gladiator, and Anchorman. I'd much rather memorize Ana's lines. What's that? Godzilla in 3D is in theaters? No way Jose. I'm sticking with Maleficent..... Again.

10. Everything you do during the day that your daughters don't actually see is obsolete and/or irrelevant This is a conversation that actually took place between me and Addison a couple of weeks ago after I had picked her up from school:
Me: Addy, how was school today?
Addy: It was good! I tell you every day! It's always good!.... uggghhhhh
Me: Addison! You will not talk to me that way. You know, I ask about your day every single day when I pick you up from school and you never ask me about how my day went.... why is that?
Addy: That's because I don't care.....
Me: What? You don't care? Why not?
Addy: Because your day is probably boring.
Can't make this stuff up. I was going to punish her, but then I thought "What for?" I had asked her a question and she gave me her honest answer. I can't punish her for that. That also leads me to my next guideline.

11. Prepare for brutal honesty I think there's something in all of us that wonders what some of our faults are. Once you have kids, you stop wondering. This is a conversation that actually took place between Audrey and me one morning after I was late dropping Addison off at school:
Me: Man, Audrey I am really struggling at this dad thing right now.
Audrey: Yea...... well...... at least you're trying.

12. Looking good is always a big deal Even pajamas need to match, which makes no sense to me considering only family will see them. Everything must color coordinate and be approved by all females in the house that are human. I haven't worn one of my favorite pairs of shoes in over 9 months because they are unanimously hated by Ashley, Audrey, and Addison. When it's 3 vs 1, you can't win.

and finally....

13. Think like a woman You tend to discover that you can get a along with everyone a lot easier when you try to think like them. Think like a woman, but don't ever act like one. I have discovered that I am idolized in my house for being a man if nothing else. The girls are my 3 favorite people in the world and while I have learned to adjust my way of living in order for things to be smoother around the house, I have loved every minute of it and wouldn't change that for anything else in this world. I can only imagine that the girls have made plenty of adjustments on my behalf as well, especially Ashley. I think that is what makes us work so well. With all the changes and adjustments we make in life, Christ and each other are the constants in this house and regardless of all the adjustments we have made and ever will make, those constants will never change.

A Big Announcement (No, we're not pregnant)

Recently, it’s seemed like mine and Ashley’s lives have been going at a million miles per hour. Since mid January, we have had 1 weekend where we have had nothing going on for either of us. Nothing as in no retreats, camps, workshops, birthdays, out of town trips, etc. Surprisingly with it being Easter and me being a minister, this is a weekend for us where not a lot is going on. 

Even with this being the case, Ashley’s workload doesn’t seem to decrease. If anything, it seems like it increases. I’m not great when it comes to cleaning around the house, but I do try. There are certain facets of the house that my beautiful wife is rather particular about. Those facets are things that I don’t go near because we both know that after I’m done, she’ll just go and re-do everything I just finished doing. On top of this, Ashley is just two weeks away from receiving her masters degree in Instructional and Curriculum Design in Integrated Math and Science in Education from the University of Houston (I just say it’s a masters in teaching stuff, I had to get the actual wording from her). Even though she is so close, it seems as though it’s just getting harder for her. I related to her situation by telling her about the time I ate a 2 pound cheeseburger a couple of years ago and how even when I only had a few bites left, it seemed like I’d have to eat forever….. She said that didn’t really apply to her situation…. Agree to disagree.

Back in January, it seemed like things were never going to slow down for her. At the time, Ashley was teaching 6th grade science at Huntsville Intermediate School. This was a job that she found very difficult. The atmosphere and culture change from private education to public proved to be an extremely difficult one for her. After going over finances and seeing that we were ok for the next several months, we realized that we could afford to take a little bit of a risk in her making a shift. Ashley resigned from her teaching job in mid February. Shortly after resigning, she was contacted by the mom of one of my teens in the youth group who happens to own and operate a local magazine. She offered Ashley the office manager position as it had just recently become available. This was a great shift for her as it was a 4 day week and all work was left at the office and never needed to come home with her. This was a great job for her as it was very low stress and gave her an opportunity to still make some money. 

Grad school still did not make things easy. She took 12 hours in this past fall semester and only 6 this spring semester but she has told me on more than one occasion that this semester has been much harder than the last. Oftentimes when she gets home, she is still forced to go back to our bedroom and get straight to work. She has come so far in such a short amount of time and I am ridiculously proud of her. She makes it really easy for me to call her my hero. 

About a month ago, Ashley got a call from one of the Shepherds wives at our church. She is on the Board of Trustees for the Pregnancy Care Center of Southeast Texas. The PCC is in the center of Huntsville and practically across the street from Sam Houston State University. She told Ashley that they were currently in search of a new executive director as the current director was looking to retire and that she should apply. This happened to come at an interesting time for us because just a few months ago, we had gone to the PCC benefit dinner and I distinctly remember Ashley saying after the dinner that she felt like God was calling her to use her story to help others and the PCC would be a really good way to do that.

The fact that Ashley was a single mom for nearly a year before marrying Michael would be such a cool story for an executive director to have for a place like this. She turned in an application and her resume (which is so impressive that it makes my resume look like used toilet paper). Soon after this, she was contacted about coming in for an interview for this position. She said that the fact that she got an interview alone was a huge honor for her. Here’s why.

The Pregnancy Care Center of Southeast Texas is quite possibly the largest non-profit organization in Huntsville (it’s at least top 3 for sure). Their primary goals are to help women make wise and godly decisions involving their bodies and the bodies of their unborn babies. They offer counseling, limited healthcare, and Bible studies to women who walk through their doors and they are also partnered with a resale shop that helps these women. The PCC and the local private Christian school, Alpha Omega Academy, are two very special organizations for this city. They benefit the people involved greatly but maybe just as importantly, these two organizations are places where all the churches of Huntsville seem to come together and agree on. Denominations sadly tend to divide people on religious matters, but the PCC and Alpha are organizations where they all seem to come together and agree with whats going on. They both spread the good news of Jesus Christ and try to help people at some of their more vulnerable spots. 

After a second interview and an immeasurable amount of praying by both our family and the board, Ashley accepted the offer to be the new executive director of the PCC. She will immediately become a very well known person in this city when she begins early next month. She has some huge shoes to fill as well because Kris and her staff have been fantastic. We agreed that she needs to be finished with her masters before taking on a job like this. It’s sort of amazing that she talked to me about how she thought that she needed to be more involved with the PCC about 6 months ago. Whats even more incredible is how about a year and a half ago, she told me after a women of faith conference that she thought that God had called her to use her story to help women going through what she had been through. 

If you’re genuinely wondering if God is real, then talk with my wife. Let her tell you her story. Let her tell you any story, whether it be how we ended up together, how she made it through what she made it through, or how she is working the job she is working. Fully knowing her story, I believe that I can completely put my Bible aside and still believe that God is alive and working through His Spirit today (For those of you who know me know thats a big deal. Almost everything I live out and do has something to do with scripture.) I have a hard time believing that God doesn’t exist when looking into the eyes of my wife. Justice, mercy, grace, and love are just a few things that perfectly describe her testimony.

So overall, no we’re not pregnant (and we get asked that about once a week by different people), but I think this is even better. I plan to back her at every opportunity that I get in this ministry and although this will be her thing, I have every intention of playing a role. It’s the same way with her being involved in my ministry. Instead of bringing a baby into the world in 9 months, we (but mainly Ashley and her incredible staff) have intentions of helping hundreds of babies into this world and equipping their mothers with everything they need over that same 9 month span. Ashley has called this her dream job if she were to get it so now that she got it, she can now say that she’s living the dream. I guess that makes two of us now.

A Special Wedding

This past Saturday, the 12th, I had the honor of officiating my first wedding. It was pretty cool because it was the wedding of two of my close friends, Jake Thurman and Kristen Matlock. I was slightly nervous but figured that since I had everything manuscript, it couldn’t go just horribly wrong. Their wedding was in Luther, Oklahoma which is a little ways outside of Edmond where I went to college. This meant that I got to be reunited with all of my friends from college. A large part of who I am can be attributed to my roommates and a few guys I lived practically next door to. 

Every time I pay a visit to Edmond, I am now asked the same question. “When are you gonna bring your wife and girls up here for us to meet?” Finally, that question could be answered when I convinced them to join me. We made the six and a half hour trek up to our Edmond hotel on Friday just in time to check in before going to the wedding rehearsal. The girls are good travelers when they have distractions in front of them (ex: dvd players and iPads). I brought my girls along with me to the rehearsal and that’s when all of our fun began. The longer we were around my friends and their spouses, the more Ashley and the girls took to my friends. It was a beautiful thing for me to see because I have wanted them to know a large part of why I am the way I am and the people we spent the weekend with had a large hand in influencing that. By the end of the weekend the girls were inviting them over to our house to spend the night, which is something that might be a little harder than they realize with it being just a little bit of a drive. 

As the main event approached on Saturday night, I was hanging out with Jake and all of the groomsmen outside when I got a text about 15 minutes before the wedding was supposed to start. It was from Ashley and all it said was “completely lost”. I immediately called her and she was in semi-panic mode because of how badly she wanted to be there for the whole thing. I didn’t say it over the phone because I didn’t want her to feel bad but I felt the same way. This made me realize something. 

Every time I do anything publicly, I want my wife there. I think it’s something that we both want and I also think that when our roles are reversed, she wants me there just as bad as I want to be there. I have found a lot of comfort in being the number 1 fan of my number 1 fan. We are each other’s biggest cheerleaders, even if we might be terrible at whatever it is we’re doing. Ashley could be my only audience and that would be alright with me.

After switching GPS apps on her phone and some grace, I received a text about 5 minutes before the wedding saying “victory” and to my relief, I watched my gorgeous wife and 2 cute daughters sign in at the wedding and sit down. We started a few minutes late and so I had time to watch them make their way in and I told all the groomsmen how hot of a wife I had (not sure if any of them heard me though so I thought I’d mention it here to make sure they knew I said that!). I also got to be in a unique position in that I was the last guy with Jake before he became a married man. He helped me realize what I was like right before I got married and that that was that he was nervous as all get out. I did my best to remind him that I was doing 95 percent of the talking and that all he had to do was say I do, repeat anything I told him to repeat, and kiss Kristen when I told him to. He told me the same thing I told myself which was that he understood and yet was still nervous. I finally told him the last thing I remember before getting married and that was that he will feel nervous the entire time all the way up until he sees Kristen walking down the aisle. Once he sees that, everything else will go away and nothing will make him nervous anymore.

When he finally saw his stunningly beautiful bride, Kristen coming down the aisle with her dad, he had a look on his face I had never seen before. It was a smile that looked like he was comforted. I never got a chance to ask him after the wedding if that nervous feeling went away, but if it didn’t, then he sure did hide it well. 

Honestly, my favorite part was when Jake and me first got up in front of everyone. Jake was busy scanning the area seeing who all was there and smiling at all of the family and groomsmen/bridesmaids coming down the aisle. I was scanning the area, but only looking for one person. It turns out, Ashley was trying to make eye contact with me the whole time like she already knew what I was doing and to say “I’m right here!” Officiating Jake and Kristen’s wedding was something that I’ll always cherish and remember, but my favorite part was having my wife and girls there.

As the reception went on, Audrey and Addison became social butterflies as my friends all came to meet them and Ashley. They did what they tend to do and found 2 or 3 people to cling to and play with. Somehow, Ryne Wilson came out on top as the top teddy bear of the night with Corey and Amber Pless taking a close second. A big shout out to my best friend Colby Fabrie for convincing the girls to give our boxer puppy yet another last name now making him Triton Tyrone Bonine Lankford Esquire Colby.

I think that road trips are starting to become one of my favorite things to do with Ashley and the girls. We don’t like the drive too much but so far, our trips to Nashville and Oklahoma City have been well worth the trip. I’m so blessed to have family that loves and appreciates my roots and influences. That’s the dream. I’m living it.

The Dreaded Call

So this past Thursday, I had a rather eventful evening. It is by far one of the more interesting evenings that I have ever had and ever will have as a husband and dad. I pray this on no one ever. Let me set this up:

I had left with four teenagers on Thursday afternoon to go to Oklahoma Christian University. I took two teens from my youth group and two from my old job at Westbury Christian School. The four of them wanted to check out the school as well as have a fun weekend getaway. As a proud and loyal alum, I was thrilled about their interest.

I was happy to take them, but I also thought I would kill a couple of other birds with this stone. It was also an opportunity to sit down with my new intern and his wife to talk about the upcoming summer. His name is Josh and he is a junior at OC. His wife is also joining and I'm very excited for them and this summer and seeing what God will be doing.

I also have the honor next month of officiating my first wedding ever. My old roommate Jake and his fiance and friend of mine, Kristen, will be married next month and have asked me to officiate. Since I was in town, I thought that it would be a good idea to sit down with both of them and talk about what they had in mind for the ceremony.

So the teens and I got to OC on Thursday night around 9:30pm. I took them to one of the dorms to get them setup for housing with current students. The guys were setup first so I drove them over to where they were staying. I had just gotten off the phone with Ashley after letting her know that we had made it in safe and sound. She had said earlier that the girls both went to sleep kind of early because it had been a long day for both of them. After talking to her for a few minutes, she told me she was going to bed too after a long day. I hung the phone up thinking more about getting my teens and their housing setup so I could go and meet up with a bunch of my friends whom I had agreed to go to Buffalo Wild Wings later that night (an old college tradition of ours).

As I'm about to drop off the guys, I get a call from Ashley. I should preface this. The main times that Ashley calls me is during the day to confirm plans we made or ask about things we might need from the grocery store or things like that. She rarely calls me just to talk. That's my job. We're old fashioned like that and I think we both like it that way. She NEVER calls me late at night after she told me she is going to sleep.

I see that Ashley is calling me again. Something inside of me immediately said "Something is wrong, she needs you." I answer the phone praying that she accidentally redialed me or was looking for something that she couldn't find and needed my help. I hear her speaking softly and her voice trembling and before she even could finish saying what had happened, I knew.

Someone had broken into our house with my girls inside.

She followed this up with telling me that he had already left. She called the police and they were luckily in the area and were at the house in less than a minute. They got a statement from her and took some things for fingerprints. After hearing everything, here's the breakdown of what happened.

Ashley forgot to lock our side door. A young teenage man whom we had never seen in our lives went through my truck outside and then walked into the house. When he walked in, Audrey woke up after hearing him stir around. He was in the living room unplugging some of our electronic devices and packing them in a backpack. Audrey walks into the room and he looked at her. She said hi and then walked back to our bedroom. She woke Ashley and told her what was happening. Ashley then went to the living room and asked him what he was doing (after discussing this with her, she did admit that going in there without a weapon of any kind was a poor decision and God forbid something like that ever happens again, she will be armed in the future). This is where it gets kinda weird. The guy began to extensively apologize for what he was doing and was very non-confrontational towards Ashley. Ashley began telling this guy to put all of our stuff back and to leave........ and that's exactly what he did. I always thought that when intruders get caught by the homeowners, they either attack the owner or they run out of the house. Evidently I was wrong. After he put everything back, she ushered him out of the house and then called the police. After most of the police left (they stationed one car at the house for the remainder of the night), she tried to go back to sleep but couldn't and hung out in the living room pacing back and forth. She kept hearing screeching tires outside and thought that he was still in the neighborhood. Finally, a cop came to the door and notified her that the guy had been caught and was going to jail. They took some of our electronic devices as evidence (my Xbox is there now... it's been a boring week).

To explain a few things that transpired that night, this guy went to more than just our house which is why the police stayed in our area of the neighborhood after they left the house. They found some things in his bag that weren't ours so we know we weren't the only people he had tried to rob. As for him putting everything back after Ashley told him to instead of running, she was about 90% sure that he was very high. That also explains why he went to the next house instead of leaving the neighborhood.

All things are good with the girls now. Addison slept through the entire event and we decided that not telling her was the best way to go so she still has no idea. Audrey seemed to be fine when I saw her and Ashley now wants to upgrade the locks on our doors.

Back to the call. As Ashley tells me this, a few different things come to my head. The first was that I was about to leave OC and drive 6 hours straight back home to be with my family. I wanted to be with them, protect them, hold them. I told Ashley I was coming home and she said that there was no point because a police car was there and that feeling started to subside when I found out that they caught the guy.

The next thought I had was "You gotta be kidding me." I thought this because I wasn't home with the girls to protect them. This was the first time I had left them home alone since late September of last year. When I married my wife, I vowed to love and protect her and I wasn't there to do that.

I was devastated. I felt like I wasn't doing my job. Hearing that my family was in danger and there was nothing I could do about it was the worst feeling ever. I felt scared, helpless, and frustrated. Even after they caught the guy and Ashley was able to fall asleep, I had a hard time doing the same. I hated not being able to go home. I hated not being able to come and protect them and hold them. It was a crippling feeling.

I would not wish this on my worst enemy. I hated that Audrey, a child who has her father, had to be the one who saw him first and realize what was happening. I hated that Ashley, a woman who lost both parents in a tragedy and then her husband several years later had to be the one who ushered him out of the house.

Driving home was quite possibly the longest 6 hours of my life. Seeing the girls asleep and walking back to find my wife waiting for me was an incredibly comforting feeling. I know people say all the time about cherishing loved ones, but I think it becomes a much greater reality and a stronger message when you think about the possibility of losing those who are closest to you.

FYI I plan on upgrading our locks. Maybe getting a state of the art alarm system. Dare I say hire a bodyguard? Aren't Bieber's bodyguards looking for work? (low blow. i'm done).

So that's my weekend in a nutshell. You probably already guessed this, but when I go back to Oklahoma for Jake and Kristen's wedding next month, all of my girls are coming with.

My love for my girls and my life has now intensified and for that I am thankful. I pray it never takes something like that for me to feel this way about them again. Lesson learned.