Boundless Love

BOUNDLESS LOVE

After Ashley and I got married, we drove to Houston that night to do a quick little getaway as a celebration or abbreviated honeymoon (our real one wouldn’t be for another 2 months). On the way into town, we talked about the wedding and the dinner and who all was there and what people said and just how smooth everything went. Ashley told me all the different things that brought her to tears during the wedding. I think something that moved the both of us deeply was that Michael’s family was in full attendance. 

This was something that was so special to her as she still kept a very close relationship with them. She had been close to all of them ever since she married Michael and they all only became closer when Michael passed away.

I was honestly expecting Michael’s family to be resistant towards me, or at least hesitant. I was very wrong. I have never felt more loved in a family.  I had a pre-established relationship with Preston, Michael’s stepfather and a mission work friend of mine as well as Michael’s youngest sister Meggan. This family had a lot of reasons to reject me. I’m a good bit younger than Michael was, I had no experience parenting children, from what Ashley has told me, I’m nothing like Michael (that’s not a good or bad thing, apparently we just had very different personalities), the list could go on. However I am convinced that they were rooting for Ashley and me in a way. I know it hasn’t been the easiest thing watching us come together knowing that it should still be their son or brother, but I never got that feeling from them once.

There were two people who stood out to me the most on our wedding day. One was Kay Onstead. Kay is Michael’s grandmother. I met her at church one morning shortly after Ashley and me started dating. I have always enjoyed talking to her. She is probably the most generous woman I have ever met. Kay was the first woman I ran into when I arrived at the wedding venue and she almost instantly requested that I become her grandson. I should mention that my last biological grandparent died before I was even 10 years old so I did a lot of growing up without a grandparent around. Needless to say, that meant the world to me. Kay or Mee Maw as I now call her is a woman whom I have always admired and I am thrilled that I have another grandparent again. I have thoroughly enjoyed the conversations that we have had since marrying Ashley. I have already learned so much from her. I can only imagine how difficult it must have been to lose a grandchild. Yet she was always very accepting and loving of me while Ashley and me were dating. 

I think that the other person who blew me away along with Mee Maw was her daughter Ann, Michael’s mom. I know that she loves me, but there is no way that it could have been easy watching her son’s wife marry someone else. It would serve as a solidification that Michael really was gone. Before the wedding started, she went into Ashley’s room while she was putting her gown on and told her that she was so happy for her. She then went to me, and with tears in her eyes told me the exact same thing. Besides the tears of joy I had when Preston announced us as husband and wife, this was the only other time that I cried. I know that in a perfect world, Michael is still here. I know that Ann wishes for that knowing that it won’t happen. I know that she misses him like a true mother misses her child. Ann Hill is an amazing woman whom I will always admire. She is a woman whom I will also view as a mother figure for the rest of my life. 

Ann later posted on her Facebook how bittersweet the wedding was for her and I can only imagine. I know that I am not Michael and I never will be. I will never even come close. I do know, however, that the way I treat Ashley, the way I treat Audrey and Addison, and the way I treat his family are my tribute to him. It is a small way that I honor the amazing legacy of Michael Bonine. 

Sometimes I can’t stop questioning why God does or does not do this or that. Sometimes I feel like I deserve an answer. Most of the time I try my best to be humbled by His plan and at the very least, let His love and grace catch me. I see Michael’s personality all the time in Audrey and Addison. I like to think we would have been friends. I can only pray that he is looking down approving of the life that I lead and the way I lead his family.

I hope to one day have the boundless love that Kay and Ann show me over and over again. I cannot express how honored I am to be a part of their family and I can only hope that I am honoring their son/grandson in the way that he truly deserves.