During this time, the girls had to go to work with either me or Ashley and since Ashley had limited mobility, Audrey went to work with her to help with things around her office. Addison went to a friend's house to play for the day. I decided to take Audrey out for a lunch date. I don't always get one on one time with the girls as I'll usually get them both together.
I picked up Audrey and we went to Chilis. It's really important to me that I treat her in special ways when we have this one on one time because I want her to expect those types of things when she starts going on dates with guys. Even though it's gonna be at least another 3+ years before that happens, I want her to be able to notice the differences between the guys who are worthy of dating her and the ones who are not.
I opened the door for her to get into the car. I told her that I liked her outfit and how it was nice, but also appropriate at the same time. I tell her how I love that she is not like other girls and that her uniqueness is what makes her special.
I love that Audrey has standards for the guys she dates. Only time will tell if those standards change or not, but the fact that they are already there give me some peace. Audrey will set the bar for the type of guys that Addison dates. The guys that the girls date will set the bar for how their little brother, Gatlin sees how dating should be and how he should treat girls.
At Chilis I asked her about how she felt about dating. She told me that she has no intentions of going out with a guy until she is 16. The best part about that is she said that because when she goes on dates at 16, she will meet the guy at the place they go to instead of ride with him because that way if the date goes poorly then she can drive herself home (I swear I didn't give her that idea). She said that she wouldn't walk through any doors unless he opened them for her. She said that she won't pay for a thing on any of the dates she goes on.
My favorite comment she made about dating was that she told me that she would not let a guy kiss her until the 7th date, but that isn't the best part. I asked her why the 7th date and she said that 7 is a holy number and it's not too long or too short. I have no way of arguing this because it was both moral and biblical, so I moved on after laughing for about 5 minutes straight.
We talked about her being in the youth group. This is something that I think is hilarious because the only guys who ever have their own kids in their youth ministry stay in youth ministry for at least 10-15 years. I'm going on year 5. The guys who I interned under, Kody Speer and Robbie Forrester, have both yet to have any of their own kids in their youth ministry. We talked about what her expectations are and will be. We talked about how she fits into the group and what she likes and doesn't like about the ministry. I think her being in my ministry will present some challenges, but it will also present some advantages for me as a youth minister. This will also mean more time with her, which is good because of the phase of life that she is about to go through. This is a highly influential phase and because of that, it presents some things to be aware of.
I'm already starting to pay more attention to the friends she surrounds herself with because they are playing a huge role in shaping her into the woman she becomes. Family plays a big role in that but many times, friends play an even bigger role. Last week, Ashley and I finally caved in a bought her a cell phone. We figured that we might as well skip the "why don't I have an iPhone when every one else does" argument and got her an iPhone 5s. We have set about a billion restrictions on it already because I am convinced that cell phones and social media play a huge role in a girl's negative self image. She now has a private instagram account and became addicted to texting about 1.25 seconds after the phone was put into her hands. I have been ok with that because the people she has sent most of her texts to have been family. She is in full blown junior high girl mode in that she lives to blow up people's phones with meaningless texts. My dad was the most recent victim (take that dad!).
Ashley also told Audrey that this is the year that she is allowed to wear eye liner. She has worn it to church for the last couple of weeks and Ashley is already regretting it and so am I because she looks like she is at least 15 years old and she still isn't a teenager yet. Ashley handles all of the dressing and makeup rules because I'm an idiot when it comes to that stuff. That's not to say that I would let her dress up like a prostitute when she goes out. It's more to say that I'm comfortable with her going out wearing a trash bag because clothes just aren't really a big deal to me (I made a good decision marrying Ashley).
After saying these things I am realizing something. The little 10 year old that I met almost 3 years ago is starting to become a woman. Audrey will always be the leader of mine and Ashley's children regardless of the point in life that they might be at. I am so proud of the woman she is becoming and continues to grow in to. I love her little quirks like her love for following rules, her need to be overprepared for everything she does, her love for John Wayne movies, her ability to be so gentle and patient with Addison, and most of all, I love her desire to please God in all the things that she does.
I am blessed with an incredible family and Audrey Bonine is a big part of that.
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