Guidelines to Harmonious Living Amongst Females

Something I have tried to do with this blog has been to not give very much advice. I don't know why so many people out there try to tell others how to live their life. I don't have things all figured out in my life, not even close. Because I'm still learning, I try not to tell people how to do life. I won't pretend to be someone that I'm not.

Tonight, however, I am going to do a little bit of rule breaking, but I think it should be fun. For the first 4 months of being married to Ashley, I lived purely amongst females. My wife was a female (and still is..... thank goodness), I have 2 female daughters, our Rhodesian Ridgeback dog is a female, even the bearded dragon that Ashley kept as a classroom pet was a female! (It hit a point where it only made sense to think that Ashley's GMC Yukon, Keurig, and vacuum cleaner were all females).

It was a relief to me when we got a second dog for Christmas. This was a boxer puppy that was about 6 weeks old when we got him. HIM! My only condition in getting this new dog was that it was a male. I didn't even care that he would have to eventually get neutered, I had another male in the house and that was all that I needed. We named him Triton and he has kept us busy ever since we got him.

Even though Triton has given me some sense of manliness in groups again, I am outnumbered and I probably always will be. In light of that, I have had to learn to live a some special rules in my house. These rules make things easier for everyone in the house. I call them "Guidelines for Harmonious Living Amongst Females." Some of these you might find funny, some you might find true, but I promise you that all of these are true in the Lankford household.

1. Always leave the toilet seat down. Pretty much every married man should know what I'm talking about. Any guy who isn't married probably thinks this is garbage/I'm just whipped. Think that if you want but many a time I have been about to fall asleep when I hear a moan or groan coming from the bathroom and then my name shouted due to me leaving the seat in the upright position. I find the best way to avoid it is to just leave the seat down at all times. This will take some practice, but hey, I like target practice.

2. After you have crossed the threshold of your home, sports immediately become obsolete. While this sounds juvenile, it couldn't be more true in my house. This will definitely vary in some households but holds very true in mine. The closest I have come to getting anyone in my family to watching sports with me was when Texas A&M (Ashley's alma mater) played Alabama this past season in football. I got Ashley to "watch" the game with me while she was cooking dinner. I get asked by Audrey why I like basketball at least once a month (she's asking a former basketball coach this question...).

3. Prepare for tears. Lots and lots of tears. I'm not saying it's unmanly to cry. I have definitely shed my share tears over time, but those times are few and far between. I have an 11 year old and 6 year old daughter and they have come up with more reasons to cry than I can count. Ex: the food is too hot, they're too hot, they're too cold, a dog from a book one of them was reading died, bad grades, being caught misbehaving, losing a game, misplacing the game they just lost playing, food tastes bad, mosquito bites, blood (even if it's not their own), thunderstorms, and finally, of course, you're good old fashioned "I just feel like crying okay?!"

4. Pink and Purple are your new favorite colors Not optional

5. A carseat and leftover food will always be in the backseat of your car I can vaguely remember the days when having a loud stereo was cool. You know what's cool in my book now? A clean backseat, but just like how having those Bose speakers was an unrealistic fantasy, so is thinking that leftover breakfast will ever disappear from from the floorboard, usually because it has become one with the carpet.

6. Intimate moments with the wife will almost always be interrupted by the girls. It's like an uncanny phenomenon.....

7. Laundry is a bottomless pit It's unbelievable. It's like once I'm done folding the last load, one of the girls brings their load from the past week which I'm pretty sure I just finished washing and folding. Sometimes I'm convinced they're just punking me.

8. When chicken nuggets are on the menu, your restaurant choices are unlimited When chicken nuggets aren't on the menu, it's gonna be a long and miserable meal regardless of how good the food and service might be. I recommend you pick your battles. This is a battle that I lose around 90% of the time.

9. Disney movies never get old What's that Addy? You want to watch Frozen again for the 13th time and want to sing through all of the songs with the actors for the 7th time? Great. I happen to hate watching Hoosiers, Gladiator, and Anchorman. I'd much rather memorize Ana's lines. What's that? Godzilla in 3D is in theaters? No way Jose. I'm sticking with Maleficent..... Again.

10. Everything you do during the day that your daughters don't actually see is obsolete and/or irrelevant This is a conversation that actually took place between me and Addison a couple of weeks ago after I had picked her up from school:
Me: Addy, how was school today?
Addy: It was good! I tell you every day! It's always good!.... uggghhhhh
Me: Addison! You will not talk to me that way. You know, I ask about your day every single day when I pick you up from school and you never ask me about how my day went.... why is that?
Addy: That's because I don't care.....
Me: What? You don't care? Why not?
Addy: Because your day is probably boring.
Can't make this stuff up. I was going to punish her, but then I thought "What for?" I had asked her a question and she gave me her honest answer. I can't punish her for that. That also leads me to my next guideline.

11. Prepare for brutal honesty I think there's something in all of us that wonders what some of our faults are. Once you have kids, you stop wondering. This is a conversation that actually took place between Audrey and me one morning after I was late dropping Addison off at school:
Me: Man, Audrey I am really struggling at this dad thing right now.
Audrey: Yea...... well...... at least you're trying.

12. Looking good is always a big deal Even pajamas need to match, which makes no sense to me considering only family will see them. Everything must color coordinate and be approved by all females in the house that are human. I haven't worn one of my favorite pairs of shoes in over 9 months because they are unanimously hated by Ashley, Audrey, and Addison. When it's 3 vs 1, you can't win.

and finally....

13. Think like a woman You tend to discover that you can get a along with everyone a lot easier when you try to think like them. Think like a woman, but don't ever act like one. I have discovered that I am idolized in my house for being a man if nothing else. The girls are my 3 favorite people in the world and while I have learned to adjust my way of living in order for things to be smoother around the house, I have loved every minute of it and wouldn't change that for anything else in this world. I can only imagine that the girls have made plenty of adjustments on my behalf as well, especially Ashley. I think that is what makes us work so well. With all the changes and adjustments we make in life, Christ and each other are the constants in this house and regardless of all the adjustments we have made and ever will make, those constants will never change.

A Big Announcement (No, we're not pregnant)

Recently, it’s seemed like mine and Ashley’s lives have been going at a million miles per hour. Since mid January, we have had 1 weekend where we have had nothing going on for either of us. Nothing as in no retreats, camps, workshops, birthdays, out of town trips, etc. Surprisingly with it being Easter and me being a minister, this is a weekend for us where not a lot is going on. 

Even with this being the case, Ashley’s workload doesn’t seem to decrease. If anything, it seems like it increases. I’m not great when it comes to cleaning around the house, but I do try. There are certain facets of the house that my beautiful wife is rather particular about. Those facets are things that I don’t go near because we both know that after I’m done, she’ll just go and re-do everything I just finished doing. On top of this, Ashley is just two weeks away from receiving her masters degree in Instructional and Curriculum Design in Integrated Math and Science in Education from the University of Houston (I just say it’s a masters in teaching stuff, I had to get the actual wording from her). Even though she is so close, it seems as though it’s just getting harder for her. I related to her situation by telling her about the time I ate a 2 pound cheeseburger a couple of years ago and how even when I only had a few bites left, it seemed like I’d have to eat forever….. She said that didn’t really apply to her situation…. Agree to disagree.

Back in January, it seemed like things were never going to slow down for her. At the time, Ashley was teaching 6th grade science at Huntsville Intermediate School. This was a job that she found very difficult. The atmosphere and culture change from private education to public proved to be an extremely difficult one for her. After going over finances and seeing that we were ok for the next several months, we realized that we could afford to take a little bit of a risk in her making a shift. Ashley resigned from her teaching job in mid February. Shortly after resigning, she was contacted by the mom of one of my teens in the youth group who happens to own and operate a local magazine. She offered Ashley the office manager position as it had just recently become available. This was a great shift for her as it was a 4 day week and all work was left at the office and never needed to come home with her. This was a great job for her as it was very low stress and gave her an opportunity to still make some money. 

Grad school still did not make things easy. She took 12 hours in this past fall semester and only 6 this spring semester but she has told me on more than one occasion that this semester has been much harder than the last. Oftentimes when she gets home, she is still forced to go back to our bedroom and get straight to work. She has come so far in such a short amount of time and I am ridiculously proud of her. She makes it really easy for me to call her my hero. 

About a month ago, Ashley got a call from one of the Shepherds wives at our church. She is on the Board of Trustees for the Pregnancy Care Center of Southeast Texas. The PCC is in the center of Huntsville and practically across the street from Sam Houston State University. She told Ashley that they were currently in search of a new executive director as the current director was looking to retire and that she should apply. This happened to come at an interesting time for us because just a few months ago, we had gone to the PCC benefit dinner and I distinctly remember Ashley saying after the dinner that she felt like God was calling her to use her story to help others and the PCC would be a really good way to do that.

The fact that Ashley was a single mom for nearly a year before marrying Michael would be such a cool story for an executive director to have for a place like this. She turned in an application and her resume (which is so impressive that it makes my resume look like used toilet paper). Soon after this, she was contacted about coming in for an interview for this position. She said that the fact that she got an interview alone was a huge honor for her. Here’s why.

The Pregnancy Care Center of Southeast Texas is quite possibly the largest non-profit organization in Huntsville (it’s at least top 3 for sure). Their primary goals are to help women make wise and godly decisions involving their bodies and the bodies of their unborn babies. They offer counseling, limited healthcare, and Bible studies to women who walk through their doors and they are also partnered with a resale shop that helps these women. The PCC and the local private Christian school, Alpha Omega Academy, are two very special organizations for this city. They benefit the people involved greatly but maybe just as importantly, these two organizations are places where all the churches of Huntsville seem to come together and agree on. Denominations sadly tend to divide people on religious matters, but the PCC and Alpha are organizations where they all seem to come together and agree with whats going on. They both spread the good news of Jesus Christ and try to help people at some of their more vulnerable spots. 

After a second interview and an immeasurable amount of praying by both our family and the board, Ashley accepted the offer to be the new executive director of the PCC. She will immediately become a very well known person in this city when she begins early next month. She has some huge shoes to fill as well because Kris and her staff have been fantastic. We agreed that she needs to be finished with her masters before taking on a job like this. It’s sort of amazing that she talked to me about how she thought that she needed to be more involved with the PCC about 6 months ago. Whats even more incredible is how about a year and a half ago, she told me after a women of faith conference that she thought that God had called her to use her story to help women going through what she had been through. 

If you’re genuinely wondering if God is real, then talk with my wife. Let her tell you her story. Let her tell you any story, whether it be how we ended up together, how she made it through what she made it through, or how she is working the job she is working. Fully knowing her story, I believe that I can completely put my Bible aside and still believe that God is alive and working through His Spirit today (For those of you who know me know thats a big deal. Almost everything I live out and do has something to do with scripture.) I have a hard time believing that God doesn’t exist when looking into the eyes of my wife. Justice, mercy, grace, and love are just a few things that perfectly describe her testimony.

So overall, no we’re not pregnant (and we get asked that about once a week by different people), but I think this is even better. I plan to back her at every opportunity that I get in this ministry and although this will be her thing, I have every intention of playing a role. It’s the same way with her being involved in my ministry. Instead of bringing a baby into the world in 9 months, we (but mainly Ashley and her incredible staff) have intentions of helping hundreds of babies into this world and equipping their mothers with everything they need over that same 9 month span. Ashley has called this her dream job if she were to get it so now that she got it, she can now say that she’s living the dream. I guess that makes two of us now.

A Special Wedding

This past Saturday, the 12th, I had the honor of officiating my first wedding. It was pretty cool because it was the wedding of two of my close friends, Jake Thurman and Kristen Matlock. I was slightly nervous but figured that since I had everything manuscript, it couldn’t go just horribly wrong. Their wedding was in Luther, Oklahoma which is a little ways outside of Edmond where I went to college. This meant that I got to be reunited with all of my friends from college. A large part of who I am can be attributed to my roommates and a few guys I lived practically next door to. 

Every time I pay a visit to Edmond, I am now asked the same question. “When are you gonna bring your wife and girls up here for us to meet?” Finally, that question could be answered when I convinced them to join me. We made the six and a half hour trek up to our Edmond hotel on Friday just in time to check in before going to the wedding rehearsal. The girls are good travelers when they have distractions in front of them (ex: dvd players and iPads). I brought my girls along with me to the rehearsal and that’s when all of our fun began. The longer we were around my friends and their spouses, the more Ashley and the girls took to my friends. It was a beautiful thing for me to see because I have wanted them to know a large part of why I am the way I am and the people we spent the weekend with had a large hand in influencing that. By the end of the weekend the girls were inviting them over to our house to spend the night, which is something that might be a little harder than they realize with it being just a little bit of a drive. 

As the main event approached on Saturday night, I was hanging out with Jake and all of the groomsmen outside when I got a text about 15 minutes before the wedding was supposed to start. It was from Ashley and all it said was “completely lost”. I immediately called her and she was in semi-panic mode because of how badly she wanted to be there for the whole thing. I didn’t say it over the phone because I didn’t want her to feel bad but I felt the same way. This made me realize something. 

Every time I do anything publicly, I want my wife there. I think it’s something that we both want and I also think that when our roles are reversed, she wants me there just as bad as I want to be there. I have found a lot of comfort in being the number 1 fan of my number 1 fan. We are each other’s biggest cheerleaders, even if we might be terrible at whatever it is we’re doing. Ashley could be my only audience and that would be alright with me.

After switching GPS apps on her phone and some grace, I received a text about 5 minutes before the wedding saying “victory” and to my relief, I watched my gorgeous wife and 2 cute daughters sign in at the wedding and sit down. We started a few minutes late and so I had time to watch them make their way in and I told all the groomsmen how hot of a wife I had (not sure if any of them heard me though so I thought I’d mention it here to make sure they knew I said that!). I also got to be in a unique position in that I was the last guy with Jake before he became a married man. He helped me realize what I was like right before I got married and that that was that he was nervous as all get out. I did my best to remind him that I was doing 95 percent of the talking and that all he had to do was say I do, repeat anything I told him to repeat, and kiss Kristen when I told him to. He told me the same thing I told myself which was that he understood and yet was still nervous. I finally told him the last thing I remember before getting married and that was that he will feel nervous the entire time all the way up until he sees Kristen walking down the aisle. Once he sees that, everything else will go away and nothing will make him nervous anymore.

When he finally saw his stunningly beautiful bride, Kristen coming down the aisle with her dad, he had a look on his face I had never seen before. It was a smile that looked like he was comforted. I never got a chance to ask him after the wedding if that nervous feeling went away, but if it didn’t, then he sure did hide it well. 

Honestly, my favorite part was when Jake and me first got up in front of everyone. Jake was busy scanning the area seeing who all was there and smiling at all of the family and groomsmen/bridesmaids coming down the aisle. I was scanning the area, but only looking for one person. It turns out, Ashley was trying to make eye contact with me the whole time like she already knew what I was doing and to say “I’m right here!” Officiating Jake and Kristen’s wedding was something that I’ll always cherish and remember, but my favorite part was having my wife and girls there.

As the reception went on, Audrey and Addison became social butterflies as my friends all came to meet them and Ashley. They did what they tend to do and found 2 or 3 people to cling to and play with. Somehow, Ryne Wilson came out on top as the top teddy bear of the night with Corey and Amber Pless taking a close second. A big shout out to my best friend Colby Fabrie for convincing the girls to give our boxer puppy yet another last name now making him Triton Tyrone Bonine Lankford Esquire Colby.

I think that road trips are starting to become one of my favorite things to do with Ashley and the girls. We don’t like the drive too much but so far, our trips to Nashville and Oklahoma City have been well worth the trip. I’m so blessed to have family that loves and appreciates my roots and influences. That’s the dream. I’m living it.

The Dreaded Call

So this past Thursday, I had a rather eventful evening. It is by far one of the more interesting evenings that I have ever had and ever will have as a husband and dad. I pray this on no one ever. Let me set this up:

I had left with four teenagers on Thursday afternoon to go to Oklahoma Christian University. I took two teens from my youth group and two from my old job at Westbury Christian School. The four of them wanted to check out the school as well as have a fun weekend getaway. As a proud and loyal alum, I was thrilled about their interest.

I was happy to take them, but I also thought I would kill a couple of other birds with this stone. It was also an opportunity to sit down with my new intern and his wife to talk about the upcoming summer. His name is Josh and he is a junior at OC. His wife is also joining and I'm very excited for them and this summer and seeing what God will be doing.

I also have the honor next month of officiating my first wedding ever. My old roommate Jake and his fiance and friend of mine, Kristen, will be married next month and have asked me to officiate. Since I was in town, I thought that it would be a good idea to sit down with both of them and talk about what they had in mind for the ceremony.

So the teens and I got to OC on Thursday night around 9:30pm. I took them to one of the dorms to get them setup for housing with current students. The guys were setup first so I drove them over to where they were staying. I had just gotten off the phone with Ashley after letting her know that we had made it in safe and sound. She had said earlier that the girls both went to sleep kind of early because it had been a long day for both of them. After talking to her for a few minutes, she told me she was going to bed too after a long day. I hung the phone up thinking more about getting my teens and their housing setup so I could go and meet up with a bunch of my friends whom I had agreed to go to Buffalo Wild Wings later that night (an old college tradition of ours).

As I'm about to drop off the guys, I get a call from Ashley. I should preface this. The main times that Ashley calls me is during the day to confirm plans we made or ask about things we might need from the grocery store or things like that. She rarely calls me just to talk. That's my job. We're old fashioned like that and I think we both like it that way. She NEVER calls me late at night after she told me she is going to sleep.

I see that Ashley is calling me again. Something inside of me immediately said "Something is wrong, she needs you." I answer the phone praying that she accidentally redialed me or was looking for something that she couldn't find and needed my help. I hear her speaking softly and her voice trembling and before she even could finish saying what had happened, I knew.

Someone had broken into our house with my girls inside.

She followed this up with telling me that he had already left. She called the police and they were luckily in the area and were at the house in less than a minute. They got a statement from her and took some things for fingerprints. After hearing everything, here's the breakdown of what happened.

Ashley forgot to lock our side door. A young teenage man whom we had never seen in our lives went through my truck outside and then walked into the house. When he walked in, Audrey woke up after hearing him stir around. He was in the living room unplugging some of our electronic devices and packing them in a backpack. Audrey walks into the room and he looked at her. She said hi and then walked back to our bedroom. She woke Ashley and told her what was happening. Ashley then went to the living room and asked him what he was doing (after discussing this with her, she did admit that going in there without a weapon of any kind was a poor decision and God forbid something like that ever happens again, she will be armed in the future). This is where it gets kinda weird. The guy began to extensively apologize for what he was doing and was very non-confrontational towards Ashley. Ashley began telling this guy to put all of our stuff back and to leave........ and that's exactly what he did. I always thought that when intruders get caught by the homeowners, they either attack the owner or they run out of the house. Evidently I was wrong. After he put everything back, she ushered him out of the house and then called the police. After most of the police left (they stationed one car at the house for the remainder of the night), she tried to go back to sleep but couldn't and hung out in the living room pacing back and forth. She kept hearing screeching tires outside and thought that he was still in the neighborhood. Finally, a cop came to the door and notified her that the guy had been caught and was going to jail. They took some of our electronic devices as evidence (my Xbox is there now... it's been a boring week).

To explain a few things that transpired that night, this guy went to more than just our house which is why the police stayed in our area of the neighborhood after they left the house. They found some things in his bag that weren't ours so we know we weren't the only people he had tried to rob. As for him putting everything back after Ashley told him to instead of running, she was about 90% sure that he was very high. That also explains why he went to the next house instead of leaving the neighborhood.

All things are good with the girls now. Addison slept through the entire event and we decided that not telling her was the best way to go so she still has no idea. Audrey seemed to be fine when I saw her and Ashley now wants to upgrade the locks on our doors.

Back to the call. As Ashley tells me this, a few different things come to my head. The first was that I was about to leave OC and drive 6 hours straight back home to be with my family. I wanted to be with them, protect them, hold them. I told Ashley I was coming home and she said that there was no point because a police car was there and that feeling started to subside when I found out that they caught the guy.

The next thought I had was "You gotta be kidding me." I thought this because I wasn't home with the girls to protect them. This was the first time I had left them home alone since late September of last year. When I married my wife, I vowed to love and protect her and I wasn't there to do that.

I was devastated. I felt like I wasn't doing my job. Hearing that my family was in danger and there was nothing I could do about it was the worst feeling ever. I felt scared, helpless, and frustrated. Even after they caught the guy and Ashley was able to fall asleep, I had a hard time doing the same. I hated not being able to go home. I hated not being able to come and protect them and hold them. It was a crippling feeling.

I would not wish this on my worst enemy. I hated that Audrey, a child who has her father, had to be the one who saw him first and realize what was happening. I hated that Ashley, a woman who lost both parents in a tragedy and then her husband several years later had to be the one who ushered him out of the house.

Driving home was quite possibly the longest 6 hours of my life. Seeing the girls asleep and walking back to find my wife waiting for me was an incredibly comforting feeling. I know people say all the time about cherishing loved ones, but I think it becomes a much greater reality and a stronger message when you think about the possibility of losing those who are closest to you.

FYI I plan on upgrading our locks. Maybe getting a state of the art alarm system. Dare I say hire a bodyguard? Aren't Bieber's bodyguards looking for work? (low blow. i'm done).

So that's my weekend in a nutshell. You probably already guessed this, but when I go back to Oklahoma for Jake and Kristen's wedding next month, all of my girls are coming with.

My love for my girls and my life has now intensified and for that I am thankful. I pray it never takes something like that for me to feel this way about them again. Lesson learned.

Boundless Love

BOUNDLESS LOVE

After Ashley and I got married, we drove to Houston that night to do a quick little getaway as a celebration or abbreviated honeymoon (our real one wouldn’t be for another 2 months). On the way into town, we talked about the wedding and the dinner and who all was there and what people said and just how smooth everything went. Ashley told me all the different things that brought her to tears during the wedding. I think something that moved the both of us deeply was that Michael’s family was in full attendance. 

This was something that was so special to her as she still kept a very close relationship with them. She had been close to all of them ever since she married Michael and they all only became closer when Michael passed away.

I was honestly expecting Michael’s family to be resistant towards me, or at least hesitant. I was very wrong. I have never felt more loved in a family.  I had a pre-established relationship with Preston, Michael’s stepfather and a mission work friend of mine as well as Michael’s youngest sister Meggan. This family had a lot of reasons to reject me. I’m a good bit younger than Michael was, I had no experience parenting children, from what Ashley has told me, I’m nothing like Michael (that’s not a good or bad thing, apparently we just had very different personalities), the list could go on. However I am convinced that they were rooting for Ashley and me in a way. I know it hasn’t been the easiest thing watching us come together knowing that it should still be their son or brother, but I never got that feeling from them once.

There were two people who stood out to me the most on our wedding day. One was Kay Onstead. Kay is Michael’s grandmother. I met her at church one morning shortly after Ashley and me started dating. I have always enjoyed talking to her. She is probably the most generous woman I have ever met. Kay was the first woman I ran into when I arrived at the wedding venue and she almost instantly requested that I become her grandson. I should mention that my last biological grandparent died before I was even 10 years old so I did a lot of growing up without a grandparent around. Needless to say, that meant the world to me. Kay or Mee Maw as I now call her is a woman whom I have always admired and I am thrilled that I have another grandparent again. I have thoroughly enjoyed the conversations that we have had since marrying Ashley. I have already learned so much from her. I can only imagine how difficult it must have been to lose a grandchild. Yet she was always very accepting and loving of me while Ashley and me were dating. 

I think that the other person who blew me away along with Mee Maw was her daughter Ann, Michael’s mom. I know that she loves me, but there is no way that it could have been easy watching her son’s wife marry someone else. It would serve as a solidification that Michael really was gone. Before the wedding started, she went into Ashley’s room while she was putting her gown on and told her that she was so happy for her. She then went to me, and with tears in her eyes told me the exact same thing. Besides the tears of joy I had when Preston announced us as husband and wife, this was the only other time that I cried. I know that in a perfect world, Michael is still here. I know that Ann wishes for that knowing that it won’t happen. I know that she misses him like a true mother misses her child. Ann Hill is an amazing woman whom I will always admire. She is a woman whom I will also view as a mother figure for the rest of my life. 

Ann later posted on her Facebook how bittersweet the wedding was for her and I can only imagine. I know that I am not Michael and I never will be. I will never even come close. I do know, however, that the way I treat Ashley, the way I treat Audrey and Addison, and the way I treat his family are my tribute to him. It is a small way that I honor the amazing legacy of Michael Bonine. 

Sometimes I can’t stop questioning why God does or does not do this or that. Sometimes I feel like I deserve an answer. Most of the time I try my best to be humbled by His plan and at the very least, let His love and grace catch me. I see Michael’s personality all the time in Audrey and Addison. I like to think we would have been friends. I can only pray that he is looking down approving of the life that I lead and the way I lead his family.

I hope to one day have the boundless love that Kay and Ann show me over and over again. I cannot express how honored I am to be a part of their family and I can only hope that I am honoring their son/grandson in the way that he truly deserves.

Catching Up

Well it’s been forever since I actually wrote something on this so I thought that I would do some updates since I’m driving from Nashville to Huntsville which is a grueling 12 hour drive. I think the last time I updated on anything we had just moved into our new home. We are still there and the house feels more like home each day. As much as I love my parents/the house I grew up in in Nashville, I am coming more and more to accept our home as home.

I guess the biggest thing I should update on is that we got married a couple of months earlier than actually planned. Our original date was set for November 23rd, however, there were some complications with what we were wanting to do. 

Our wedding was originally going to be at First Colony, then we decided to do a big wedding at our home church in Huntsville. That’s where it gets interesting.

About a week and a half after we moved into the house, Ashley started her job teaching at the local intermediate school. Soon after, the girls started in their new schools as well. Addison did great adjusting and she is repeating kindergarten, she was really young to be in kindergarten last year and now we can say that holding her back was a good decision, she has a great teacher and has learned quite a bit. She tells people that she was so good at kindergarten that she gets to do it again.

Audrey had a tough time in school from a social aspect. It wasn’t so much that she couldn’t make friends, it was who she had to be around and that was a major negative influence on her. After the first quarter was over, we had her transferred to a local private school that is very close to my office. She has loved being there. 

Ashley had a tough time transitioning from a private Christian school to a Title I public school. Many rules change and so does the behavior of the students whom she works with. She recently changed from teaching 5th grade to 6th but most of the problems stayed the same. Did I mention that she was in the process of getting her masters in education? So here is the rundown of everything she had going on this past semester:

Full Time student (12 hours)

Full time teacher

Mommy of 2

Wedding planner

After discussing with several people, I came to the realization in the beginning of September that as the future head of a household of 4, I needed to make a decision that helped make things a little bit less difficult on my future wife. Since I have no control whatsoever on the job or the masters, I went to work on a new wedding plan. 

There is a gazebo that overlooks the lake that is in our subdivision. I went and talked to the administrators at the clubhouse and planned to have a wedding there. I called all of my family and Ashley’s and began putting together a family only wedding. That weekend I took her to the gazebo and asked her to marry me there 2 weeks from that day. She agreed and things began to really take shape. We only had one problem, however it was a big one.

The gazebo stands on a hill and in order for there to be a wedding where she could walk down an aisle and people be there, it needed to be completely dry on the hill. It rained for two and a half days leading up to the wedding. I knew that we needed a backup plan. I talked to our church secretary thinking that just going to our church and doing it there would be fine. Only then did I discover that the church had already been booked for a wedding that same afternoon and that it was impossible to have it there. I finally went to the only other place that I knew could do weddings. It was just on the outskirts of town. An actual wedding venue called Magnolia Lake. There was a beautiful outdoor chapel pavilion that overlooked a pond and it just so happened to be available that day. We were wanting to get married on Saturday the 21st of September and I booked the place on Tuesday, September 17th. The coordinator said that this was by far the closest to a wedding date that she had ever booked a place. We weren’t surprised.

My family drove out from Nashville. Her family came out from all over southeast Texas. Ashley’s youngest sister Katie even flew in from North Carolina. The weather was perfect. Preston Hill, the stepfather of Ashley’s late husband, Michael and a good friend of mine for over a decade was our officiant. He did an absolutely tremendous job. We exchanged rings and I gave rings to both Audrey and Addison as well. We celebrated at a Mexican restaurant down the road. My dad told me recently that the best idea I ever had was marrying Ashley, the second best was having a small family wedding instead of a blowout wedding.

So my wife and I have now been married for three months and I have to say that it’s been fantastic coming home to a wife and two girls. We are actually in the process of adding a male puppy just to up the boy count in the house. A boxer puppy named Triton will come home to the Lankford house in early 2014. 

I absolutely love the youth ministry that I’m in and the church is terrific. The girls are really enjoying school too. I have picked up playing golf and it has been fun learning how to play and improving upon my game. Golf is the only sport that I ever picked up and wasn't very good at which makes me want to play that much more. Ashley got me a new set of very nice clubs as a wedding gift (I got her a new laptop). I try to play as often as I can with the weather permitting. I’m still pretty bad but not nearly as bad as I used to be. I’m shooting right around 99-101 right now which I don’t think is too bad considering I have never had a lesson and have only been playing consistently for about 4 months now. 

We still chose to go on our honeymoon on November 24th which was a Royal Caribbean cruise out of Galveston to Jamaica, Grand Cayman, and Cozumel, Mexico. It was a very relaxing trip which was exactly what Ashley needed with all of the stress she still had in her life (just because we got married early didn’t mean that grad school or her job waited on anything). We went kayaking in Jamaica and played with sea lions in Cozumel. Unfortunately we had to skip Grand Cayman because of bad weather on sea. No one even got to get off of the boat. We didn’t mind staying in and reading though. There is always plenty of things to do onboard a cruise ship. 

We also got to have a big wedding reception in Nashville shortly after Christmas. A huge thanks to my mom for putting all of it together. We went to the barn of some family friends and it was super decorated. About 200 of my closest friends and family came out and celebrated with us. We had a blast. I like to think that everyone else did too. Hopefully I can show some pictures of that at some point. I’m currently on the drive back from Nashville back home. We love going home even if the drive is miserable. Audrey and Addison love their Gigi and Big Daddy. I’ll get right back to work and Ashley will start in-service on Monday. The girls will start back at school midway through next week. 

So that’s sort of the catchup in a nutshell. There are more details to most of what I wrote but I guess I just don’t have the patience to write so much. Plus there are several more things I have learned that I want to share. Feels good to write again though.